Pile of Dog Bones

I Blog Because of the Penguins

I've been nominated for the Blogger's Choice Awards for Most Obnoxious Blogger. I blog because of the Penguins. I do not refer to the marching penguins, the dancing penguins or this summer's surfing penguins. I refer to the Penguins of Roman Catholic Elementary School. In second grade I was instructed by the Penguin we called Sister Mary of No Mercy. Her subject of expertise was penmanship. For over three months, Sister Mary of No Mercy would stalk up and down the aisles lording over us as we wrote in the foreign script of cursive writing. She spent the first 10 minutes of each hour period on how to correctly hold the pen. For whatever reason, I just couldn't do it comfortably in my right hand.

When December came around, she explained to my parents at the parent-teacher conference that I was "stunted" and "incapable" of writing cursively. She explained that if I continued on this path I would never be able to express myself in words on paper. However, she assured them, when she was done with me I would be the second grade's most famous calligrapher. It was after this reassurance and my parents ignorantly giving her the "do what must be done" authorization, that the long reach of the yard stick would bleed my knuckles on a daily basis.

The first time she did it, I had switched the pen to my left hand. I had discovered it was more comfortable to hold it the way the Penguin had wanted it with that hand. I never saw the wood emerge from beneath the habit. In fact all I heard was the *THWAP* of the wood on something soft. It took me a full five seconds to realize it had been my hand. By that time she was screaming at me about how I MUST hold the pen in my other hand, how I MUST do as instructed, how the DEVIL and his consorts use their left hand to write the words of the LORD. It is true that she beat the left handedness out of me that year. Over time I gradually slipped back into holding the pen in my right hand the way a person would hold it with their left. My handwriting is in no uncertain terms, horrendous.

Fast forward 25 years and you will find me expressing myself on the digital pages of my blog, A Pile Of Dog Bones. It started off as a way to break out of a horrendous case of writer's block I was having. I had done some freelance work for a few specialty magazines, and have written two books. The first book I self-published and only realized how horrendous it was until after I did that, although the cover was awesome. The second book I gave as a gift alongside with my heart, and she gave me a cigarette lighter. It is a really nice lighter though.

So my third book attempt found me blocked at a point where I really should not have been. My firm belief is that the trick about becoming a better writer, is that you need to write everyday. In 2005 I found myself unable to do so because of schedules, life in general, and of course the two ladies who changed the lives of so many- Katrina and Rita. So after my extended vacation with those girls- I decided to start a blog. How hard could it be? You sit and write something and post it for a gazillion people to read. So I did it.

I started off like most people, on Blogger. This was actually my second attempt at doing it, but I was more motivated now to complete my "passion" project than ever. I felt this was the best method to rehabilitate my writing self. It took over two months before I got my first comment. It came from my best blogfriend, Monique at When We Were Liars. I had really just been throwing stuff out there until then. Then, after that comment, I realized how addictive other people's thoughts and ideas on YOUR thoughts and ideas can be. I was hooked.

Over time, I got my own domain and then a professionally custom designed template from Rachel at Weblog Design Studio. I've already proven that content is not always king when it comes to videos, so I felt the need to be as pleasing orangey to the eye as possible. Orange is the new pink in case you didn't know.

I developed a readership, relatively small compared to others, but a loyal little group. The feedback they give me has always been honest, which is what I value. Sure, I can be controversial at times, but I wouldn't be a New Yorker if I wasn't! Besides, the domain and hosting cost are nothing compared to what my therapy bill would be. If I ever lost it, well I guess I'll just have to go back to pen and paper. Then I would plaster New York with my words. Checking comments would be more time consuming, but I need that interaction.

There are those who take blogging very seriously, promoting it as the most social advancement since the printing press. Then there are those who don't. I am one of the people who don't believe that level of propaganda. While I believe blogs have the power to ignite the processes of making the world better, they are not themselves solely responsible for the betterment. While my Cereal Wednesday VLOG Series may help make the breakfast choices for those who watch it easier, it will not change anything unless the cereal companies hear my cries of outrage and bring back the cereal box toys instead of cheap DVD offers and mail-ins that require multiple product purchases. I also was nominated for Best Video Blogger at the Blogger's Choice Awards. I lead it for awhile, until Rosie O'Donnell got nominated. She'll win, unless of course the Chinese Government hears my plea and brings down their firewall until the end of the contest. Such is the blogosphere, for she is a fickle thing.

In real life I spend 40+ hours a week fighting the Angel of Death. My blog may not make the world a better place, but the blogger behind it makes a difference in the lives of some of the world's occupants. That beats a great pagerank any day.

I hope the Penguins can see me now. I hope they know I typed this entirely with my left hand. How's that for expression?

*****

My blog: A Pile Of Dog Bones.

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