Gardenias and Grenades

Inside Iraq

I love this time of the year; my wife and I love the Gardenia flowers so much…I have a tradition of looking for the first gardenia flower that blossoms in my garden and giving it to my wife. I have been doing that since we knew each other and I did it yesterday because I saw the first Gardenia in our garden. It's a bit early this year. As the night fell, we decided to sit in the garden and have dinner there despite the hot weather. As we started to eat, a huge explosion was heard and felt, it shook the table and we immediately got inside. I think it's too much for us even to have dinner in our garden. A few seconds after the explosion, the symphony of bullets started as usual. (Originally published on last-of-iraqis.blogspot.com)

Later we knew it was two mortars targeting Raghiba Khatoon (a neighborhood in Adhamiya) and no one knows about the casualties.

Things have deteriorated so quickly and it has became so dangerous to go out of home. Adhamiya had been closed for three days now and they say that they want to "disinfect it from the corrupted and terrorist individuals". I wanted to enter Adhamiya yesterday but I couldn't; the awakening members were so aggressive and they were yelling on everyone to get back. I heard that they have captured two suicidal women ready to detonate themselves in Adhamiya and in another district, Bab AlMoa`tham, they have captured another suicidal woman! It's like the fashion for 2008 is suicidal women, I don't know what will they do next? Maybe suicidal children?

Baghdad is burning. I literally mean burning because in every neighborhood or district there is at least one attack. In AlMansoor, there has been two attacks: one in the middle of the market where seven people died and 14 were injured, and the other one near a famous restaurant.

Three days ago in Bab AlMoa`tham, there was a fierce confrontation between the awakening of a Shaikh Omar neighborhood and armed men…the confrontation expanded into the market and bazaar. An eye witness told me "everyone was running or hiding, bullets coming from everywhere….you can't tell who are the good guys and who are the bad guys! They all look the same. I witnessed the death of many people but I can't tell exactly how many died in that confrontation…It was really scary, one of the scariest thing I have ever seen."

The reason for that confrontation, I heard, was that the armed men wanted to kidnap a police general and the awakening prevented them. Some say that they came to attack the awakening themselves.

All the above happened while the Shiite areas suffer more, day after day, because of AlMahdy Army and the stupid Maliki….confrontation never stopped in those areas. A fellow dentist who works in Sadir City told me " the main streets are OK, but suddenly a confrontation starts and you must be ready to hide or escape at any moment. The side streets is something else; no one should get into them unless he lives there or have a really important business there. Many of them are booby-trapped and others are full of AlMahdy army. It's a real disaster there."

Prices continue to rise because of Jamila market. The Iraqi markets are suffering from that along with the Iraqi citizens…for example, a kilo of tomato is 3000ID now ($2.50). Mortars and explosive packs continue to target Palestine street and it's commercial market…AlKarada had its share of violence too, and every single district in Baghdad is suffering and burning now. The violence is escalating in a frightening manner.

I'm really sick of all this. I'm so depressed these days because I feel like a prisoner in my home. We haven't gone out except to Adhamiya and areas near my home since the AlSadir troubles started. We are really depressed and bored, I just want to go to some café, a good restaurant, a club, a walk in a nice modern market; at the very least I want a ride in the car. It's so boring and dull to live in Baghdad these days. I feel desperate for a vacation in another country so I can recharge!

When I used to travel before the war or even after the war, I would start to miss Baghdad after one month and I couldn't resist the urge of get back after three months. I used to miss Baghdad, even if there is violence and explosions, because my friends were there; we could go out and have fun, we would stay up at night and go to many nice places….but not anymore. There is no one left and no place to go…everything is destroyed or has became impossible to reach. I bet I will never want to get back even after 10 years outside Iraq. I'm sure I'm going to miss Baghdad but not this Baghdad. I'm going to miss my Baghdad, a Baghdad that was occupied by good and real Iraqis.

There is a scene that I will never forget as long as I live, and now when ever it comes across my mind I laugh…I remember in 2001 when my brother in-law (my sister's husband) was leaving Iraq to go to the UK and would never get back. I remember the last moment: I was in their home and when the car that would take him to Jordan came, he was crying. In fact, he was weeping, crying like a baby because he is going to leave Iraq.

I remember him kissing every wall in his house. I remember him kissing the doors, he even kissed the trees and finally he got on his knees and kissed the sand of Iraq…he continued like this for about 15 minutes and when he got up and prepared to enter the car, he looked at his home. The final look. I will never forget that look. It really said it all. I believe everyone now knows why I laugh whenever I remember this scene because nowadays, when someone is going to leave Iraq (on his will, of course) you would see the widest smile on his face and you would see all his friends and relatives congratulating him and wishing on the inside that they were like him…going to leave Iraq and never coming back.