How to Reveal a Secret

Telling the Truth in a Difficult Situation

Secrets can be big or small. From sneaking the last cookie to admitting to a crime, secrets come in all shapes and sizes. Everyone has a secret. Most people have many.

Some secrets are easy to keep, others are not. No matter how well you can keep a secret, there will one day come a time when you will be sitting down with a loved one and revealing some deep dark secret.

How to Reveal a Secret

• First, ask yourself if this is something you really need to reveal. You may feel better letting your secret go, but is it really a good idea? You could end up injecting new hurts into old wounds.
• Secrets are rarely an "all about me" situation. Who else will be impacted by your revelation and will they be able to handle the storm you intend to unleash?
• Who do you want to tell? Think carefully about the people to whom you want to reveal your secret. The more people you tell, the greater the chance others will find out.
• Are you prepared for a negative reaction? Once your secret is out, you cannot cry foul if the person you share it with does not react the way you expected them to.
• Can revealing this secret impact your life? Simple to say, harder to determine. Could you lose your home? Your job? Your girlfriend/boyfriend? If the matter is truly serious, you should probably line up a place to stay and/or an alternate way to support yourself in case things backfire in a big way.
• The biggest mistake a person can make is to simply blurt their hidden truth. The second biggest mistake is to make it a big production. Unless the secret will be revealed in time regardless of your attempts to hide it, then wait for that quiet moment when everyone is in a receptive mood.
• Be prepared for the possibility of violence. Alright, admittedly this one very much depends on how deep and dark your secret is. The thing to remember is that people do not always react the way you think they will. If it's big enough, there is the chance someone will start swinging or throwing things.
• Be sure of your facts. If your secret has the potential to be a mistake of some kind, make sure of your facts (or lack thereof) before you bring other people into it. "I think I might be pregnant," has a completely different impact than, "I am pregnant."
• Are you willing to discuss it after the fact? If your plan is to drop the bombshell and go your merry way, then you need to be aware the people you just bombed will want details. Clamming up may not be an option.
• Are you prepared to lose friends and/or family over this? If the answer is no, then you are not ready to tell.

In its simplest terms, if you cannot handle the backlash, then the secret is not worth telling. The trick is to be prepared for anything. In the end it's up to you to decide what to reveal, when and to whom.