Dave Pelzer's Moving Forward

How to Let Go of the Past

Dave Pelzer's courage and optimism inspires others to gain the strength in order to let go, put the past behind them and move forward.

Dave Pelzer, self-help expert and author of Moving Forward: Taking the Lead in Your Life (Publisher Center Street, 2008, ISBN:1599951398 ), puts things in perspective by demonstrating how anyone can bounce back from past hurts and succeed.

If Dave could endure horrendous abuse and still maintain some semblance of sanity and self esteem, anyone can. That seems to be the message he wants people to get in order to thrive and move on. Even after living like an animal, being subjected to violence and neglect by his own mother, Dave manages to maintain his sense of humor and optimism. He counts himself lucky for finally being rescued at the age of 12, thanks to a teacher and new foster parents.

Learning to Let Go of the Past

With his down to earth straight talk, he urges others to purge the crap out of their lives for good. If you have a hard time letting go of things that are dragging you down, Dave Pelzer will help you explore why. Each chapter of Moving Forward ends with questions that encourage self-exploration and growth. It could be you're accustomed to escaping, not facing issues or that you cling to what is comfortable and familiar even if it is crap.

While Pelzer is supportive of therapy, he discourages long-term dependency on it since some end up addicted and use therapy as a crutch. Therapy is meant for healing and moving forward, not wallowing in incidents that happened in the past. Sometimes people end up rehashing things, becoming revictimized repeatedly instead of summoning the courage to move on and focus on the present. Nobody has had a perfect childhood, although some have been more traumatized than others.

You can either let the past drag you back down and control you, or draw strength from it by becoming more determined to persevere. A lot depends on your attitude and belief in your abilities. Negative experiences really can make you stronger and more determined in the future especially if you decide to believe that is true.

Dave Pelzer on Self Esteem

He has an interesting and insightful take on the present tendency to say someone has "no self esteem" and maintains rightly that everyone has some. Starting with something is a lot more empowering than being told you have nothing and it seems a more positive and sensible approach.

Moving Forward manages to combine tough talk with compassion urging everyone to bounce back, persevere and succeed regardless of what obstacles may appear to be in the way. Once things do come together, there will still be obstacles and sometimes those come from people you least expect.

Dave's infectious enthusiasm will help anyone believe, prevail and maintain their dignity, even when those around them are taking pot shots hoping they will fall. Dave Pelzer is the author of six other books, four of which were best sellers, and has been presented with several awards for his work on child abuse prevention and awareness. He hosts The Dave Pelzer Show weekly on Voice America and has a website called DavidPelzer.com.

(Previously published on Suite101)