10 Qualities to Look for in a Friend

Traits Needed for a Strong Relationhip

We all need friends, but are your relationships true friendships, or are your friends really just acquaintances? Look for these characteristics in people with whom you are seeking a strong and lasting friendship.

10 Things to Look for in a Friend

1. A genuine affection for you: This should go without saying, but it's amazing how many people set out to make friends not for a genuine relationship but for networking or because they want to use the other person in some way. Networking is fine, as long as both parties understand that is what the relationship is about. Friendship, however, must have its base in genuine affection.
2. Loyalty: A true friend will not talk about you behind your back. She will not blab your secrets. Nor will she undermine your chances for advancement at work or within the community. A true friend has your interests at heart, and will support you in every way she can.
3. Honesty: True friendship is a relationship in which both parties can be open and honest with each other. A true friend will not lie to you.
4. Trust: Just as your friend will not betray you or lie to you, she will trust you to treat her the same way. She will not hold back from the relationship in the fear that you will let her down. (You won't, will you?)
5. Grace: A true friend will understand that there are times when you don't want to be with him, times when you are busy, and times when you are just plain ticked off with life. He will give you room to deal with the events and emotions of your life without allowing them to damage the friendship.
6. Empathy: A true friend will be able to put herself in your shoes, to understand what is going on in your life and to stand with you in it. She will take the time to listen to you without having to jump in with her "two cents worth."
7. Kindness: A friend will want to do nice things for you, even on the days when you really don't deserve it. (But remember that there will also be days when she doesn't deserve it, but will need you to be kind to her.)
8. Adaptability: Not all friends are alike. Friends need to be able to adapt to each other, allowing each other room to be an individual while respecting and celebrating the differences between them.
9. Reliability: A good friendship becomes comfortable. You need to know that, barring the unexpected, your friend will be there for you.
10. Humor: Relationships are not always a bed of roses. Sometimes there are thorns. Sometimes we let each other down. Sometimes we fall short of the qualities we should have as friends. When that happens, it is good to be able to laugh together at our foibles rather than declare war and break the friendship.