At first I thought that if you legalized prostitution, as they have done in Holland-Netherlands, it might be safer, as long as it was controlled and monitored properly. I'm not saying pimps or madams are the answer either. However, if you think about it, it would scar those who go that route, and drugs and alcohol would have to remain a factor to numb out the negative emotions of shame, anger, et cetera. Then it's not making anything better.

So I say once again, if you take care of the drugs and alcohol that interfere with people dealing with reality and life on life's terms, the more power to the people. If we get strict with the laws on drug dealers, especially organized crime or whomever makes the makes the crap. Deport those who come into our country and get involved in dealing drugs. Give longer sentences to Canadians that get caught.

I've talked with many people regarding this and every one of them agrees with me. People are sick and tired of criminals getting only a couple of months in jail. That's like slapping them on the back of the hand and telling them not to do it again.

Don't tell us the government can't afford it with all our taxpayers' monies. They tore down Okala/Lakeside for women to put up housing. Same with the B.C. Penetentiary - they put up housing in its place. It's great for the criminally-minded, now they have more houses to break into.

So what's the answer? Do we legalize prostitution, which is like giving out free heroin at the safe injection sites, or do we make it tougher for girls to walk down a path that leads to nowhere? Sure there are some prostitutes that say they don't use drugs, though those ones are far and few between, but deep down they stuff the shame, guilt, anger- no one wants to be used and abused.

Now that Crown is finished presenting its case, (and I think they could have done a better job,) will the Defence get "Willie" on the stand? I doubt it, but who knows. I think it would be interesting if they did, and I'd like to see what he has to say after the undercover police officer taped their conversation in the holding tank.

Is he still "proud" of being the ring leader, as he implied in the jail cell tape we heard earlier in the trial? He appeared to show no remorse for what is being said about him during this whole trial.

I still don't know why they don't pick up Dinah Taylor or any of the other girls who brought the women to the farm and prosecute them for parts of the killings. But that's only me.

I know how angry I was when they testified that they brought the girls to the farm for Willie, especially when one of those girls could have been my friend Jackie. Who's to say that these girls won't have to look over their shoulder for the rest of their lives because someone wants pay back, like family members or boyfriends of the deceased. I know that this world isn't getting any safer, and I'd hate to be in their shoes.

Due to this experience writing for Orato.com, changes have been made. It has aided me in dealing with past traumatic experiences of working the Downtown Eastside, which almost made me a statistic and one of the missing women.

After listening to all the evidence and testimonies from the witnesses it has made me grateful to be alive today; to be able to help those who wanted to understand addiction and why addiction leads us to the street and a life of crime. We "live to use and use to live." Without drugs we would feel all the painful and traumatic experiences we have survived. It took me a few years to be able to feel my emotions without a crutch.

At first, I was wary and didn't like to feel the pain and go through the memories of my past. However, once I learned to cope with the emotional roller-coaster, I knew I had it beat.

My teenage daughter opened my eyes when she insisted that I deal with my past. She wanted to know all about her mom and the life I led. I kept telling her she didn't want to know about my past because it might be harmful to her, let alone give her ideas that I didn't want her to know.

She kept insisting, so when this opportunity came about to write about my past experiences, it was a good tool for the both of us to become even closer. It's been the same with one of my sons; he can talk to me openly now about what he's done and the drugs he's experimented with, and now neither of them do drugs and they try to live a productive life for their kids' sake.

My kids have gone from almost hating me for my past, to being proud of my successful recovery. They can come to me now for help, whether I can help, or if I need to just let them live and learn. And when they try to pull the wool over my eyes, I can openly tell them to give their heads a shake because this is me they're talking to. They now know that I've been there and done that, and they can't 'con a con.'

When I told my daughter that the end of the trial was approaching, she almost sounded disappointed. She asked what was going to happen with Orato.com. Will I have to stop writing for them? I told her that it's time to move on again to learn and do something else, that life is a learning process and you can never learn too much.

Court continues next week, and hopefully in September, the jury will come to a decision...hopefully the right decision.