I had an old high school friend of mine get back in touch with me, who I hadn't talked with in probably 16 years. He and his wife loved the show Little People Big World [2], and his wife was asking him what it was like to have a friend who was a dwarf, or a little person. He said he honestly never thought about it; it wasn't an issue, it was just a friendship. We never really talked about how I was different. What's great about the show is that provides people with information. People might not know much about dwarfism, but they know the Roloffs.

If there is one myth I'd like to dispel on the subject, it's not to be afraid of someone who's different; get to know them first. Someone who looks completely normal could end up being pretty scary, and someone with physical differences could end up being quite normal.

I've noticed people walk on egg shells around the subject. There's the question of "What are we supposed to call you?" and my idea is to complete the thought. A lot of times people will say, "They're a dwarf" or "they're a midget." That's fine, but I would rather see you finish the sentence with, "They're a dwarf person" or "They're a midget person." Sociologists talk about it - how you would never refer to someone who's different with just a one-word title because that's creating the monster of racism and bigotry. If you end it without finishing it, you create this whole master status thing.

In Indiana, where I grew up, there was a very active chapter of the Little People of America [3], called the 'Lil Hoosiers.' There's a phrase we just came up with, "Of course we think big-without being told we're small, we don't think any other way than anyone else does." When I was younger that was pretty much my mentality, because I grew up with a lot of little people around me who I could look up to. I could see how they went about things as they got older. So I had mentors, although that word was never used, who helped me with life's ups and downs.

I was a very outgoing person and I had a great number of friends growing up, as did my wife - who wasn't my wife at the time. But of course, being short, or being a little person, you do end up running up against some people that just don't get it and it upsets them. So yes, we've dealt with that negativity once in a blue moon.

This is the way I look at it: Life is unfair to everybody across the board. If you tie yourself to what is horrible and wrong with the world, it'll bring you down, and all kinds of people can think like this regardless of their stature. Life has lots of fairness as well. It's a tricky place.

In the business world, interviews are the trickiest. That's when you're meeting people for the first time and there are obvious physical differences. I remember once in high school, I turned in applications every where and I ended up getting offered a job in a garden store, so I went in to start work and the guy looked at me and said, "If you want to fill out an application go ahead; if we have an opening we'll get back to you." I looked at him and I said, "Well, actually, you called and offered me the job already. I'm here to start work." I found that very interesting.

I don't walk around feeling sorry for myself because I'm a little person. I've felt sorry for myself based on life events that anyone would have - if a close family member passes away for instance. But you end up overcoming these challenges and finding strength within you. We all have our own bag of tricks that we use to carry on; sometimes I think having short stature is a very easy one compared to what else you could be dealing with. Again, in the case of job interviews, there's also the flip side - we can present a very strong case with credentials and we'll be remembered. We stick out as the guy who was 4'3" over the five guys who were all between 5'7" and 5'9."

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The second most common time dwarfism shows up is between two average-sized parents. The first common is between two little people. I guess the third common would be between a little person and an average-sized person. My parents aren't little people, but I inherited a lot of things from my parents. My dad was a scientist and I got his intelligence and the ability to think things out analytically. My parents gave me the idea that I was capable of doing anything I wanted and they'd be there to support me, which they were.

When it came to settling down and having a family, my wife and I were not concerned about having child with achondroplasia, or dwarfism. There was an article recently in the New York Times [4] about how doctors can now determine if a child has dwarfism while it's in utero. It said that some dwarf people want dwarf children, some people would never want a dwarf child and some doctors would never let people have a dwarf child. What I say to everyone is, "I just want a healthy child." I don't know what the percentage of health complications of children with dwarfism is versus those of average-sized children, but I imagine they're close. I think every parent wants a healthy child, no matter his or her stature.

As far as daily life is concerned, obviously we make adjustments. To reach a tall cupboard, for instance, you definitely have to use a footstool. I sometimes use a footstool and stool combination so that I can get up even higher still. Today, my 6'4" brother in law is in town. Because we have 9-foot ceilings in my daughter's room, I had him handle an installation versus me risking life and limb by standing at the very top of the ladder.

Most people I know learn how to tailor their lives so they don't have to make adjustments at all. It's a great thing to do if you own your own property. But for those of us who rent, you can't go around making smaller railings and building frame work or things like that, so that's the compromise. You just try to get your landlord to agree to certain things, which is what we've done. The frustrating thing is that we can't afford San Francisco's real estate market, not that we can't tailor our lives! So, with renting, it's all about the ladders and footstools.