Throughout the years we have visited our Thai friends in Pattaya and Koh Samui and picked up on what goes on in Thai culture, between the locals and visitors. Thailand is a Third World country that has come a long way since the Vietnam war which brought the westerners to Pattaya for rest and relaxation.

Recently it was a story regarding prostitutes and child prostitution in Thailand that I watched on a local news program that inspired me to visit Thailand again this year.

This is a story about the girls I met through a friend in Pattaya and our exploration throughout the Red Light districts in Pattaya and Koh Samui. ('Koh' meaning 'Island'). I’ve been 'around the block' more than anyone will know and I’ve also been around the world watching prostitutes who had no idea I knew what it's like being a working girl.

This is not a news story, but the real story of the Thai brothels.

Buying In Bangkok

Bangkok is a good place for business, and prostitution is everywhere there and well-organized for those who want to keep it toned down. It is where most of the "action" is, so I was told by a man I met on Koh Nang Yuan who lived in Bangkok. He spoke English very well and invited me to come to Bangkok so I could find out all about the brothels there. He spoke, in a very sincere voice, as though I would have no idea until I saw it for myself.

Bangkok will have to wait, however, until I return one day to finish language school. Bangkok is a wild place that never sleeps, so it's not my idea of a holiday place where I'd want to be for long periods of time.

Through some research during my travels I came across a foundation called Pro L.I.F.E., which has many centers around the country to assist orphaned children, families with HIV/AIDS, the poverty-stricken and young girls who want to change their lives of prostitution.

I tried to touch base with Pro L.I.F.E. to find out more, but they seemed to be cautious when it came to talking to media. I believe they have to get permission from the Thai government and they don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I can only tell you what I learned about them from the website. Pro L.I.F.E has a center in Pattaya to assist the girls who want to get out of the sex trade called the Tamar Center.

It’s great if the organization thinks they can help some of the girls, however there is a long line up to get into the sex trade, so I think they will need more people to assist in order to keep up. Some people I’ve talked with think it is just a Band-Aid solution, but it hopes to help at least one or two out of the thousands that are lining up to get into the trade.

Supply And Demand

Western men are feeling the need to travel 13,000 km to find a woman to make them feel like kings. During my interview with a man in Pattaya, he said that the women in North America are too domineering and think about themselves more than they do about their men. Back in the "good old days" the stay-home housewives depended on their men for everything. Now, they don't really have the need for someone to take care of them.

Many men go to Thailand in search of that days-of-old woman. However, it's unfortunate that the sex tourists who go overseas for these elegant, gentle, beautiful women don't realize what they are really doing to the culture of these people.

The Lost Land Of Smiles

The 'Land of Smiles', is slowly disappearing. Broken hearts, disease and pregnancy all equal suicides, addiction and destruction in these wonderfully talented people. I have definitely noticed the change since 2004 when I first started exploring Thailand.

While we were in Pattaya we witnessed a girl on the ledge trying to make the jump off a high-rise apartment building to end her life. My friend Oeh from Oeh Tattoos told me that she probably had a broken heart and things like that happen a lot with the Thai girls who want to escape poverty and can't find 'Mr Right' to rescue them and take them back to the promised land: 'America.'

When things don't turn out the way they planned, they become distraught and try to commit suicide or they get violent and have been known to hurt or kill the Falang (white tourist) they're with for his life insurance.

While I relate to these broken dreams, my story had a happy ending. I was fortunate and found my knight in shining armor while working the Downtown Eastside (my knight wasn't a 'john,' for the record).

Children Of The Brothels

I wanted to dig into the child prostitution that does unfortunately happen with kids, often from the ages of 10 and up. I think some are born into the lifestyle and start even earlier. I saw that with most of the businesses, it remains within the family and kids start learning "the ropes" as soon as they can. However, I never saw any kids approach potential customers and none tried to bargain with me for sex, or anything else for that matter.

I didn't go to "Boy's Town" this trip, where you’ll find boys and young men selling their souls to the devil, since the source I touched base with lives in Pattaya and Boy's Town is on the opposite side of Pattaya.

Characters And Ink Along The Way

Most Thai people I've met are down-to-earth, easygoing and love to practice their English while I practice my Thai. It's a great way to make friends and learn a bit more of what really goes on in Thailand.

Thai people are always 'sanook' or cheerful and have a philosophy of 'mai pan rai,' meaning 'it doesn't matter,' 'never mind,' or as I say, 'don't worry; be happy'. They are a proud people who are confident of their artistic skills, as you will see all over Thailand. They do a lot of spectacular carving. If you're born into a family of carvers, you start learning young.

Pattaya is where we always start our trip to say hello ('sa wat dii ka') to our biker dude friend 'Oeh' who wears his colors - “Bull Dog Thailand" - on the back of his black leather vest with his Dayton boots in 38 degrees Celsius. He admits it's hot, but hey, it's his colors and he likes to look cool. He has been a true friend, as all Thais are.

Oeh started his tattoo business with one small shop on Soi 2 (2nd Street). Previously I'd had my ex-husband's initials tattoo covered up, and Oeh did a spectacular job. His work is well-known to those who like art work on the skin. Unfortunately, he doesn't tattoo anymore because he has hired others to do the work in the five tattoo shops that he now owns.

I bring Oeh gifts from Canada as a token of our friendship, and he gives us the information we need about everything in Thailand we may not fully understand. So who else to inquire to about prostitutes but Oeh, who is very knowledgeable about the biker scene in Thailand and the bar girls and drug scene that come along with that culture? He knows all about people whose lives have not been easy.

He told me he was once an addict himself and has straightened his life out, resulting in his success in Pattaya. I shared with him my struggles with addiction while working the streets of Vancouver, Canada. I think I surprised him and he had a little more respect for me, knowing that I was so honest with him. I told him I have nothing to hide because I'm clean and sober now for six years and trying to get ahead as he has, which is a struggle at my age.

Oeh set up a few interviews for me, one with a working girl/bar girl and a guy called 'Big Al,' who definitely lived up to his name (Big Al has been living in Thailand now for the past seven years and has opened up a Taco stand called 'Big Al's Taco's' if you're ever in the neighborhood).

We also met a 'Bobby' from Wales, who put his two cents in too. They both live in Thailand now and married Thai wives. They came to Thailand for holidays and fell in love with it, as we did.

These guys came to Thailand for the girls, as any normal man would. To see some of these women is to appreciate their beauty. They look like models - slim, with beautiful skin and features; they are smart and treat men like kings.

As I alluded earlier, Big Al and Bobby told me that women in America and Canada are "too liberated" now and are in a relationships for their own needs only, unlike the Thai women, who will give their men what they need.

Furthermore, the Thai ladies are great at giving massages after a long day's work. I should know, I've had hundreds of massages from Thai women, which I spend most of my 'baht' ($) on.

Big Al was most informative about the girls and wanted to make sure that the record was straight, not overly dramatic, as the media can be. I promised him that I wouldn't write anything that isn't true; that's not my style. We spoke about the news story I'd seen that inspired this visit, and he seemed upset, but understood that it's the media, which likes to make things seem worse than they are.

North American "News"

It was disappointing for me to watch my local news program discriminate against these women and people. To see people bartering isn't unusual in Thailand, yet the program portrayed the custom negatively.

I ventured down Soi Diamond, where Global TV news tried to go with their cameras before they were told they couldn't film and to leave. I had to see what the fuss was all about...why was it so secretive?

I took my camera down the same Soi only to be told the same thing by a rude Thai guy that was almost willing to break my camera if I didn't stop filming. Well, he was messing with the wrong gal. I played stupid. Since I was female, had my husband at my side and was taking pictures like the rest of the tourists, he wouldn't do too much. I got a shot of him yelling at me. Hey, I was just a girl and 'me don't understand'... (as if).

Then I thought I'd put the camera away and go back down Soi Diamond to see just what was so secretive. I was astonished to find a bunch of half naked Thai girls sort of dancing on their stages. None of them looked as though they didn't want to be there, but it was like watching paint dry. These girls were definitely not impressed with what they had to do. They were bored. Some of the women didn't really even look Thai; they looked more Japanese, Laos or something.

I wanted to know what was really going on, but when I started asking questions, no one seemed to understand English anymore. So I went back to my friend Oeh and asked him if he knew the story there. He told me to talk to Joy, a bar girl that works at one of Pattaya's bars and goes to walking street after she's worked her shift in the bar, not only as a waitress but as a prostitute. If the price is right, you can have her for the night or a few hours.

Joy is a sweet girl, the age of 27. You wouldn't know it if you saw her because she only looks 18 or 19 years old. Joy has been in the business for seven years now. She started in Singapore before coming to Thailand.

Some of the men that ‘own’ these girls took them from a small place near Saudia Arabia to Bahlin before coming to Pattaya. The place she comes from is poor and is a five-hour bus ride from her family, to whom she gives the money she makes.

She told me that there are some women that come from small villages within or surrounding Thailand (Loas, Mynamar or Burma, Cambodia) and since their trip costs them money, they have to work until it's paid.

Most of the money these girls earns goes to the guys or agency that brought them to Thailand. The women see maybe a 1/3 of it to send back to their family and for themselves. It made me shake my head. I wanted to know who these guys were who were selling these women. I'd love to give them a piece of my mind...or something else.

I told Joy I was an ex-prostitute in Canada and I think that helped her bring down her walls more. She seemed surprised because she had a look on her face of confusion, as though it seemed odd there were prostitutes somewhere else in the world.

We bought her a few drinks and talked more about Go-Go girls on Soi Diamond and all over Thailand. Any prostitute that has to make money this way no doubt starts feeling negatively about her job. I've been there, so I knew how she felt. You get sick of men pawing you and trying to get into your pants for as little money as they can. Both our faces cringed when we discussed the topic.

I understood the tedious day of stress waiting for a catch. I knew what it was like having men grab and paw at me. I knew what it was like going with someone you normally wouldn’t go with at all. I know what it’s like to share a drink or a fix with a fellow working girl so we could both loosen up to bring in money. Most of the bar girls drink to loosen up.

A working girl will earn about 1500-3000 Baht per trick (customer). The men she usually has for customers are American Navy men, Russians, Chinese, Filipinos, and of course Canadians. She claims not to like some of them because they're pigs and not nice to her, but she'll tolerate them for the money, as I did when I was a working girl. She says the sex is not good, but money is good.

Joy wants to go to school and buy a home, but doesn't know how she'll be able to because it costs too much (keep in mind, to get ahead in Thailand, English is an asset). Joy made it clear that if she had the chance, she would go to school.

I wish I could have helped her, but I was visiting Thailand with peanuts myself. If Joy brings in 1500 Baht and 2/3 of that will go to the bar and her family, it leaves her very little to live on, and that's why she can't afford to go to school (300 Baht = $10 Canadian approx).

After her shift in the bar, whether or not she picks up a guy, she will head down to the street and try to pick up guys down there for more money. The competition is great; like I'd said, girls are lining up to get into the profession because you earn more selling sex than you would if you worked in a business.

Joy claims to have a Swedish boyfriend who comes to Thailand when he can for a year and he does know what she does, but it’s a living for her right now. I asked Joy if she would ever leave the profession if she had the chance, and she didn't know. I asked her if she was given 100,000 Baht, would she quit and go to school. To my surprise she said no.

She said she couldn't because she'd get into big trouble; that she'd get hurt if she left and that's where our conversation ended. I guess she couldn't talk about it without getting into trouble.

A lot of girls are brought into the sex trade by trickery or broken promises and are owned until they pay off their debts, which takes a long time to do when everyone is taking a piece of their income all the time. Some are sold into the trade by their parents because they are so poor they feel they have no choice. I can’t imagine selling my daughter so that dirty white men could manhandle her.

Leaving Pattaya

After a week in Pattaya, we headed over to a small island called Koh Samui (pronounced: Koe Sam-oo-ee). It’s another well known tourist trap, but on a beautiful island. Now might be a good time to point out that it's not only North Americans who come to Thailand to indulge their sexual fantasies. Thailand is a sex tourism destination for people from all over the world.

I'd been to Koh Samui before and knew that there was a Red Light district there that I had to go to in order to find out if there was anything different I might learn. Visiting these places wasn't easy for me; it was all so familiar. Dancing around, strutting the stuff, swinging off poles, flirting with guys that walk by, doing what it takes to bring in the money.

The part I didn’t like was the drinking and partying between the Thai gals and the Falangs, (white tourists) while they get familiar with each others needs. I’ve quit drinking/drugging now for almost six years, but the temptation will always be there for this chickie.

In Koh Samui's Red Light district there were a few girls who were willing to tell me what I wanted to know, but to my disappointment it was all the same bits and pieces that Joy had told me. Just in case I might learn something new, I spoke to a girl named Song. She was as beautiful as her name.

We met Song while we were driving by on our motorbike through part of the Red Light district. By renting a motor bike you're able go places others haven't been before (at your own risk). However, we drove by and Song gave us a big bright smile and flirted with us to come have a drink and spend some money.

She was surprised when we did stop and go for a drink - a can of pop. Not many people go into the Red Light district to drink pop! We bought her a drink of her choice and she opened up to me as if she knew me, while my husband went to the back of the bar to play a game of pool. Maybe it was good to get it off her shoulders. Or maybe she thought she'd be famous if I wrote a story about her. She asked why I wanted to know all this information so I had to tell her I was a journalist, or in Thai, an author for Orato.com.

Song spoke good English and was easier to understand than Joy was. What Song told me is that she brings in 2000/3000 Baht per customer, and like Joy, a percentage goes to the bar and then to her family. I got the evil eye when I was talking about the bar taking a large percentage of her money. “Dii chan mai pan rai”, or don’t not to worry, ‘cause of the freedom of speech and being a tourist.

Song is 32 years old and has been in the business about a decade. She was very outspoken and was more mature than the other girls she was working with. I didn't want to insult her by asking her what she would do when she got older. My guess is that she'd be hoping to have found a man to take her away from it all.

There were a few girls there who didn't look old enough to drink, but in Thailand you're pretty well free to do what you want as long as you don't get rowdy and out of control. With Thais it’s hard to tell what age they are because they all look so young.

The bar girls stand at the front of the bar and do their sexy dance to attract customers. They only stop to have a drink from a straw in a small bucket filled with beer, whiskey, and of course ice cubes. They all take turns on the bucket to help loosen them up and share cigarettes with each other. Some take ‘yaa baa’ or crazy medicine, which is amphetamines.

I never saw any drug usage while I was there. What I thought was some sort of medicine the Thais were always drinking was actually Red Bull in a little bottle. I saw them everywhere drinking the Red Bull to help keep them going for their long hours of work they put in every day.

From what I understood from my friend Oeh is that the drugs are very secretive and usually not done in the open. Who knows? I did see them smoking from a hookah and wasn’t sure what was in it.

Later we drove around looking for things tourists weren't supposed to see, and sure enough, we came across a place where cock fights are held. This is the type of adventure I enjoy - off the beaten path, so we had to go in to snoop around and take pictures, which we were told we couldn't do. Every time I tried to photograph a 'cock' the owner would turn around, walk away shaking his head 'no' and hiding his prize rooster.

We went in to the small circular building and found a place to sit down. That's where I got my pictures of the fight. I could only stand a couple fights before I wanted to go. Only the local Thais were there. I think they must have been betting on the fight because someone went around collecting little pieces of paper. I had to leave after seeing the razor blade stick into one poor cock and they had to stop the fight and take it out before proceeding.

Traveling To Thailand With A Conscience

Thailand has so much to offer other than sex ,and it’s unfortunate that a man feels the need to travel half way around the world to find his prize wife who will treat him like a king. People who do this miss out on the real Thailand and the true ways Thai people live.

The next time you feel the need to go overseas for a party and sex, remember you’re supporting the sex industry of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. Put the shoe on the other foot or look in the mirror first before you purchase your $1200 airfare to Thailand.

My next story of Thailand will be on the life of a Thai transvestite, again thanks to the help of my friend Oeh. Also think about that the next time you pick up a Thai girl when you’re drunk. Is it really a woman? I remember when I was in Phuket and we were going for breakfast and this dude was just staggering home with a he/she, which he probably thought was a girl. What a surprise he had when he sobered up!

I have met transvestites and gays in Thailand and they are as kind-hearted as anyone else in the Land of Smiles.

Returning To The Land Of Smiles

The past four years my trips to Thailand have been an awakening for me, as it would be for anyone who travels there for the country's sights and not merely for the sex.

Our next trip will take us to Chiang Mai to see the hill tribes and then I'll probably venture where others have not been. That's the best way to learn about Thailand, and it forces me to speak Thai.

We will also travel to Chiang Rai, where the poor families give their daughters to the sex trade. This last trip kept me close to the action. From now on you will probably hear me say "I believe you're missing out on a beautiful country if you're there only for the sex life’, because it is so true."

Until the next time...

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is in the very here and now,
the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
See Yourself In Others
All beings tremble before violence.
All fear death.
All love life.

See yourself in others.
Then whom can you hurt?
What harm can you do?

He who seeks happiness,
By hurting those who seek happiness,
Will never find happiness.

For your brother is like you.
He wants to be happy.
Never harm him.
You too will find happiness.
In this life.
And after you leave this life.