Bad Timing

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Preamble:

I sat down the other night with my freshly cooked dinner of two baked potatoes filled with shrimp in a lemon and Ragu sauce. I had prepared the sauce earlier in the day and let the shrimp marinade in the fridge. I couldn't have been more excited to plonk myself on the couch and watch sports highlights, like only I know how, while eating my dinner. What happened next can most definitely be seen as something that all males should have a problem with. Females, maybe not so much, but I find it unfair that this particular thing, which is targeted at females, has more of a long lasting affect on males.

Body:

As I ate my dinner, the commercials came on. Harmless right? A car commercial, then a non smoking ad, every thing's going great. Then the phrase that I never want to hear, especially when I'm eating dinner, rang loud and clear...

"Have a happy period!"

My night was ruined. My dinner was ruined, the whole experience was ruined.

I can't understand why commercials for period relief, or whatever it's called, are given the green light to run during peak eating hours. If I had it my way, they would pull all the commercials for them. I mean, every woman in the world between the ages of roughly 15 and 50 have their period. Is there really a consumer demand for more than one product out there?

And if there is that much of a demand, and there is a huge difference between different products, then why to the slogans have to be so informative.

They talk about blood flow, and those little diagrams that compare the ultra thin pads with the extra heavy pads.

When a Viagra commercial comes on you don't hear something like: "Viagra can make that cock hard so you can plow that old prune," do you?

And for any girl that's thinking, "Oh god don't be so immature, deal with it," then ok, that's fine, I personally have no problem with the whole 'cycle issue'. I learned about it in grade 7 - we all did - I know what's going on in there.

However, what if your sitting on the couch with a guy, and things are going pretty good, you're alone, you're getting close under the blanket, your comfortable with each other, and all of a sudden a commercial for periods come on. Your telling me that it's not at all awkward? The end of a commercial is like the end of a preview for a movie.

There's that two second bit of silence that lets everyone say one thing about the preview, "That looks good", "I'll go see that" "That looks so dumb" and then the next preview comes on. Same with commercials, so when the period commercial comes on and there's a few seconds of delay afterward, what are you gonna say, cuz I guarantee you he's thinking something like, "Wow that's awkward!"

Pullquote:

My night was ruined. My dinner was ruined, the whole experience was ruined.