I wish I would have stayed on Hell’s Kitchen longer. I wasn’t sure if I was going to win, but I expected to go a lot further.
When Chef was grilling me about the menu I cracked under the pressure and said I was “done.” I was tired of his crap. You know, I wasn’t sleeping much…it was a lot of things. I didn’t have many good moments; the bad moments outweighed them and it was weighing on me.
I knew the menu. I blanked out when he put me on the spot. I was like, “I know this. Come on, what is my problem?” As soon as I looked at Gordon Ramsay I lost it. I don’t know if it was the intimidation, the cameras, or what.
The episode didn’t actually show the whole conversation. I kind of broke up with him. (laughs) “It’s not you, it’s me. I just can’t deal with you. I’m done. I can’t take it any more.”
Chef Gordon Ramsay is just over the top. He never just explains. He never says nicely, “You don’t know what you’re doing.” He just goes off on you and it’s pretty rough.
The Hell’s Kitchen Side Of Chef Ramsay
People always ask, “Is Gordon Ramsay for real?” I think it’s half and half. I think obviously that’s the character he is on the show, but at the same time, the prize is to work in his restaurant, so he’s going to be hard on people. He’s not just shipping us off to go work somewhere else this time, so he was definitely harder on us than he was on other groups of people before us.
If he has a soft side, I didn’t really get to see that side. When we were on the boat with him he was a nice guy, but I don’t know about “softie.” I’m sure he’s a great guy if you just sit down and hang out with him. I’ve only seen the Hell’s Kitchen side of Gordon Ramsay.
Live Chickens
When we woke up to the live chickens running around, I wasn’t too big on picking one of them up; I’ve never done that before. I’m not from that part of the country where you play with live chickens, but as far as killing a chicken goes, I was kind of disappointed when he told us to put them back.
I would love to kill a live chicken right now, actually. I’ve never gotten to kill a chicken before. I think that would be fun as hell.
Getting In The Hot Tub With The Women
I got some flack from the guys for getting in the hot tub with the women. If the guys don’t understand why I got in the hot tub with a bunch of women in their underwear, I don’t know what to say…
Ben accused me of ratting out the men, but I don’t see it that way at all. Ben and I weren’t getting along very well and I did say something derogatory, but I just said my personal thoughts. I didn’t tell the women our team’s plans or rat anyone out. I just said Craig was in trouble because he couldn’t cut chicken, but the women already knew that; they saw it.
I knew the girls were trying to pump me for information, but I was trying to do that too. I’m not stupid. It might have looked like I’m stupid, but I’m not. (laughs)
A Sexist Pig?
I think anyone who is capable should win the prize. I don’t think any of the guys, including myself, were looking that great. We were all talking a good game, but when it came down to it, no one was doing that great.
If a girl wins, more power to her. I’m not prejudiced against women – I know it looked like that, but I’m not.
Desserts
When I was assigned to desserts, I was smiling, but that smile was a cover up. I was instantly miserable.
Cooking is throwing things in a pan, a little of this and a little of that. Baking is more of a science, it’s tedious, and I just don’t have the patience. In the pastry part of school I didn’t like it. It was boring to me. I don’t enjoy doing it, and if I don’t enjoy doing it, then I’m not interested.
A Different Kind Of Breed
Cooks are a rare breed. A lot of them smoke, there’s a lot of drug and alcohol use…We’re a crazy group of people. If you’re a cook, whether you’re a man or a woman, you’re special.
I’m not sure why so many of us smoke. Maybe it’s just an excuse to get out of the kitchen for five minutes. But why does everyone have such a problem with people smoking?
I love cooking because it’s the one thing I’ve found so far that I do that gets me a little attention. I can impress people with it. I’m not an artist, I’m not a musician, but I do something that people appreciate and it makes me feel good.
Chef’s Final Insult: “Moving Like A Tortoise Giving Birth”
What would I say to Gordon Ramsay now? Hmmm. I don’t want to sound like a wimp or anything, but I would say, “Maybe if you attempted to be a little more decent and understanding with me instead of treating me like crap all the time, more of me would have come out. I’m a good cook.”
I felt like he didn’t give me a chance. He was gunning for me the whole time.
Post-Elimination Partaking
My plan after my elimination was to go get drunk, and that plan did pan out. If I’ve ever needed it, it was that day.
The whole experience definitely taught me humility. I learned that I always have something to work on. I wasn’t there long enough to learn a lot, but the life lesson is that I’m not as good as I think I am, and even if I am, I’ve got to learn to work under pressure.
I already knew this before, but apparently I forgot, that I don’t take well to somebody yelling at me constantly. It’s a bit extreme.
Predictions
I gotta go with the girls. I’m going to say Christina, or maybe Jen. Those are the girls that I felt stood out while I was there.
*****
Tune in to Orato.com every Wednesday for the exclusive interviews with the latest eliminated Hell's Kitchen cooks. Also check out all the Orato.com special series:
Hell’s Kitchen Chopping Block [1]
Song Over For American Idols [2]
People In Peril [4]
