Allison: I always wanted to be a mom, but I don’t know that anything can truly prepare you for the balancing act of being a doctor and a mom. Obstetrics is definitely not a 9 to 5 job. I didn’t have my kids until I was a little bit older – I had my first when I was 33 and my second at 35 – mostly because I wanted to be financially stable and be able to hire people to help. (laughs)
Becoming a mother was even more challenging than I thought it was going to be. My first son was three months premature, so he was in the hospital for six weeks after birth. That was a really hard time for me.
I was always drawn to women’s health issues, and I found obstetrics so uplifting. I wasn’t interested in those more depressing fields of medicine, where people are always dying from this or that.
I met Alane and Yvonne when I moved to Los Angeles in 1995 to do my residency. They were two of twelve of us in the class, working a total of 100 to 120 hours a week for four years. We were like instant friends. People call us “Charlie’s Angels” because we’re young and there are three of us - an Asian girl, a brunette and a blonde, just like in the movie. (laughs)
We trained at a county hospital, which was like a war zone. We were running from room to room catching babies – we delivered 20 to 30 babies a day, compared to now, where we deliver about 40 per month. It was very much an environment where we had to stick together to survive.
When we heard of the opportunity to all work together at the same hospital, we jumped on it.
Nowadays it’s rare that we’re all actually together at the same time. Things are so crazy. I have a lot on my plate, but I actually really like it that way.
The truth is I think we all really thrive on that. You don’t go into this field unless you enjoy chaos a little bit.
(Enter Dr. Alane Park and Dr. Yvonne Bohn)
Alane: I’m tired; I didn’t get home until 4 in the morning and then I had to be back here by 7:30 a.m.
Like Allison, I always knew I wanted to have children at some point, but I had fears about being a mom too, because I knew what kind of commitment it takes. I wanted to make sure my kids were going to grow up ok.
Yvonne: I always wanted to be a mommy. I came from a family of four, all a year apart. When I was 12, my parents divorced and my father got custody. From that point on, my mom didn’t care for me.
When we were little my mom was very affectionate and loving, and I’m definitely that way with my son. I think the value I place on nurturing has a lot to do with why I decided to go into the field of obstetrics.
Alane: When I first started medical school, I thought for sure I wanted to do pediatrics, because my grandfather was a pediatrician and I loved children. It just didn’t satisfy everything I wanted out of becoming a physician, while OB/GYN encompassed everything I loved about medicine – I got to operate, I got to be a part of people’s lives for years on end, I got to deliver babies and take care of women.
Even though there are some scary moments and we can have very sick patients, most of the time you’re dealing with the most terrific times in people’s lives.
Yvonne: The three of us have a terrific time together too. Aside from having a professional relationship, we have a wonderful friendship. It's a great support network for each other during those hard times. I think that’s another reason people call us the “Charlie’s Angels” – they see the camaraderie we have. We’re a great team.
Alane: The fact we’re all mothers not only helps us relate to each other, but also to our patients. Once you have a baby, you just understand every other mother out there. Before I had kids, I didn’t necessarily know what my patients were going through. Once I had my own children, I just totally got it. It’s hard to explain.
Allison: What ties all women together is just the joy of childbirth. Whether we were catching babies at the county hospital or where we are now, regardless of circumstances, we see the joy all women experience when meeting their babies.
The flip side of that is that we also see the sadness when something goes wrong. There’s a wide spectrum of things that constitute complex or difficult pregnancies, but those we see the most are things like hypertension, diabetes, pre-term labor, multiple births, birth defects and cervical incompetence.
Yvonne: With any pregnancy, the first thing we have to deal with in the first trimester is, “Is the baby normal?”
One of the most difficult things to deal with is meeting a new couple who come in very excited about their pregnancy, doing an ultrasound and seeing that the baby is not normal...that the pregnancy is not going to make it.
That’s really, really hard. Telling someone that the pregnancy won’t end up to become a baby is something most people don’t understand. They always want a reason.
I was pregnant and had a miscarriage myself. I had told people thousands of times that miscarriage is God’s way of dealing with a pregnancy that’s not normal, but once you’re actually that person who has had that hope and lost it, it’s very painful.
I let the patients know that I’ve been there. I hug them. I cry with them. You just have to be human and let the patients know you’re going to be with them in the rough times. Because we’re women and moms ourselves, I think it does help ease the pain and makes them feel less alone.
Alane: There are really great male obstetricians out there. The doctor who delivered my boys is a man, and he was wonderful. Having said that, I do think a lot of women prefer a female care provider when it comes to something like childbirth.
Before I actually breastfed myself, I didn’t really know how to counsel my patients when they were struggling with it, except for giving them the standard textbook advice. Once you’ve had mastitis, you get it – you understand why your patient is calling you crying at 4 in the morning.
Allison: I agree with Alane in that having physically gone through it brings a different perspective. Because my son was in the ICU, now whenever I have a mother whose baby goes to the ICU, I really talk to her about my personal experience, because I know how scary it was. It’s not better or worse than a male physician, it’s just our way, and it makes for a very unique show.
One thing that was foreign for all of us was getting used to having the cameras around. It was weird at first, but after we worked with the crew for a couple months, they became like friends, and they got to know our patients. It’s been a pleasant and fun experience.
Yvonne: Like Allison said, it was a little awkward at first when we started filming, but eventually it was just like doing our normal job with a few extra bodies around. What we really wanted to get across to the patients and viewers is that even when you have health conditions during pregnancy, all hope isn’t lost. We also wanted to show that people can have an open and friendly relationship with their doctors.
We are human, we cry and we don’t always have the answer. We’re just people too, doing the best we can.
Alane: I don’t particularly like being filmed, frankly. I never minded being filmed with my patients, because at those times, there’s no acting. It just is what it is. I was more uncomfortable when it was one-on-one camera time. It was also difficult to have this gigantic camera and a broom in front of your face.
Before we decided to do the show, I thought long and hard about why I wanted to do it, despite the fears of exposing ourselves to potentially a lot of people. I did want to educate women about pregnancy and health, but also share with women that we’re just like any other mothers out there working, struggling and trying to make things work.
Allison: My favorite thing about motherhood is just those quiet moments with my kids when they finally start winding down at night. They start saying those very profound things that children say.
The other day my daughter was having a temper tantrum and my 5-year-old son said to me, “It must be really hard to be a mom.” Another time he picked up my grocery list and started reading it, “Water, milk, butter…” I just looked at him and thought, 'How’d you learn how to do that?’
Yvonne: What I love about motherhood is the hugs and kisses. I love that they think you’re just the greatest thing in the world. They adore you, and you equally love and adore them back. Like Allison said, I love the things they say that come out of nowhere.
The other day we were watching the Oscars and my son said, “Mommy, not everyone wins; that isn’t fair, is it?” (laughs) They do things you don’t teach them and it’s incredible.
Alane: Being a mom is the best thing you’ll ever do in your life. Seeing them grow, and seeing the world through their eyes…I wish I could have that forever. They don’t have any expectations. They just want you to love them.
It’s also scary being a mom and being an OB/GYN. It’s a lot of responsibility, but totally worth it.
