Have you ever wanted to hop on an airplane and fly to the seaside in nothing but your birthday suit? To feel that re-circulated plane air grace your bare skin, unrestricted by those bulky, suffocating “clothes” that only seem to get in the way?
On previous airplane trips, have you ever glanced at the person sitting next to you with their mouth gaping open in slumber, peanut crumbs strewn across their chest, and one waxy dislodged headphone hanging mere millimetres from your arm, and thought: “Boy, I sure wonder what they would look like naked”? Well, the forces of the universe have answered your silent desires and Enrico Hess, founder of ossiurlaub.de is offering you the opportunity to strip down and get up…above the clouds.
On July 5, a plane full of 50 nude passengers will depart from Erfurt, a town in Southeast Germany, and land on the island of Usedom in the Baltic Sea. The hour long flight will be a day trip and will cost each passenger 499 Euros ($735). A small price to pay, considering that this time when you stand up in the aisle with a big grin on your face and start pulling down your pants, the flight attendant will not kindly ask you to put that “thing” away.
According to Hess, “all passengers will fly naked, but they are only allowed to undress once they are in the plane.” Despite this restriction of on-plane disrobing, I will maintain my image of a line of 50 naked men and women, walking through the boarding gate pulling their wheely suitcases with one arm and holding a newspaper and a bottle of water under the other.
While I may joke about group nudity, it is a lifestyle for a significant number of Germany’s population who, I’m guessing, may joke about group covering? Popular mainly in former East Germany under communist rule, “FKK” (Freikoerperkultur) translated as “free body culture” is a movement that is aligned with naturism, and a movement that has probably been waiting for a nude flight to a sandy beach for quite some time now.
I’m happy for them; however, as a member of the clothed movement I have a few unanswered questions: Will there be seat coverings? Will the flight attendants offer small bottles of talcum powder complete with the airline insignia? Is it gauche to make reference to your neighbour’s naked body during polite small talk?
I suppose there’s only one way to find out.
“Breasts, pack your bags, we’re going to the seaside.”