The first year was all about accepting our family. I was still trying to live that family-of-four life in my mind. It took a while, but one day we woke up and said, “It's God's plan for our lives. This is our story [2], so let’s go with it.”

Reduction was just never an option for us. Not even for a second. Walking into that fertility clinic knowing that whatever we were given, we were taking, was an extra layer of stress on us. We got the usual pressure that doctors are required to give. They sat us down and said, “Look, here is the deal. It’s risky.” As scared as we were, we didn’t waiver for a minute.

When I saw all the little circles on the ultrasound, I immediately went into shock. I had seen plenty of ultrasounds before that, so in all honesty, I should have known what it meant, but I remember thinking, ‘That can’t be babies; there are too many!’

As the medical staff started counting and measuring, I realized that, indeed, that’s what I was looking at, and the higher they counted, the quieter they whispered. By ‘four’ I was pretty crazy, by ‘five’ I was sobbing. Then they found ‘six’ and ‘seven.’ (One baby didn’t develop on its own). If ever there was a situation when I thought I was dreaming or thought this was a nightmare, this was it. It was instant panic and complete and utter fear.

I’m usually very controlled, and when I lose it, that’s when Jon usually steps in and takes over. When I saw Jon's face, I knew he was thinking and feeling exactly what I was. We knew we were done for.

Your whole life flashes in front of you. I’d had these two sweet little kids, who were begging for a little brother or sister. Now we’ve given them too many, we thought.

We told no one at first. We were afraid everybody would think we were crazy. Being a labor and delivery nurse, I knew that the chances of the babies getting here safely were slim to none. I thought inevitably I would face a loss.

We had a house that was too small, we didn’t have a vehicle big enough, we didn’t have the income that would be required…there were just all these things flying at us. All those thoughts flooding through my mind equalled completely impossible.

During the opening credits of our show Jon & Kate Plus 8 [3], there’s an image of me rolling over with my huge belly. That was actually three whole weeks before I was to give birth, if you can imagine that. We never got a point that felt safe, even when I was almost full term.

I remember lying in the hospital bed thinking, ‘No matter how far I get these babies, it’s never going to be far enough.’ Getting to 32 weeks was my goal, but that would still be eight weeks premature, times six. Every day starting at about 23 weeks I had an ultrasound to make sure that all of them were still alive, and each and everyday was just as nerve wracking as the one before.

There wasn’t an ounce of relief until they were all home. Not long after we had them home, Jon whirled around one day with complete frustration and exhaustion in his voice and said, “Do you realize we have been walking on eggshells now for an entire year?” That was the honest truth. Basically he was asking, when is it going to end?

As everybody knows by now, that was just the beginning. Most people know about our story through the TV show. We’ve been filming since the little kids were 15 months old, and we've never really stopped except for a few weeks here or there.

Believe it or not, I am the kind of person who doesn't necessarily like excessive people running through my house and in my face, not to mention eight kids. I like my quiet time. The adjustment has probably been the biggest for me.

Jon enjoys the social aspects of the crew hanging out here. They’re an awesome crew. There’s not really a whole lot of room for them in this house to disappear when they’re not shooting, but they try to respect our space. It’s a stable crew and we’ve really gotten to know each other, so it works.

Cara and Mady are old enough now to know that it’s not “normal” to be on TV, but it’s totally normal to the little kids. When we’re watching anything else on TV, they always say, “I wanna watch mommy and daddy.” They call it ‘Mommy & Daddy Plus 8.’ (laughs) It’s their favorite naptime video.

Jon and I don’t act any differently than we would without the cameras, which is probably why you see such grouchy moments. (laughs) If there’s any kind of confrontation in the time frame that an episode is filmed in, you’re going to see it in that 20-minute episode. It’s all real life – the good, the bad, the ugly.

To us, a normal family is one that spends as much time as they can together. Just because we have eight kids, I don’t think that means we should sit around the house saying, “Gosh, it would be way too hard to go here or there, so let’s just not.”

Normal for us is our Friday Night Movie Night with popcorn, Pancake Saturday, dancing after dinner or just hanging out.

There’s not a whole lot of “Me Time.” At this point I’m appreciative of going to bed at night (finally!) or taking an uninterrupted shower. Neither of those things happens too often. Ever since I went blonde, I’m required to stay blonde is a requirement of Jon, if you must know, so I have to go to the salon. I hate to say it, but that’s such a waste of time. I can think of a hundred other better things to do than getting my hair done.

My goal is to stay home with my kids for as long as I can possibly do it. At some point I know I probably will go back to work as a nurse, when the kids are in school or whatever, but I’d love nothing more than to just be a stay-at-home mom. I enjoy that role very much. I love my kids.

If I had to describe each one [4], I would say, Cara is our sweet, kind helper. She’s our mature big girl.

Mady is equally as kind-hearted, but she’s our wild card. We spend the most time fretting over her, but I think she’s going to be somebody great.

Alexis is definitely our comedy relief. She makes us smile and laugh the most out of probably any of them, because she’s just so “out there.”

Hannah is a lot like Cara in that she’s very Mommy-like and wants to keep everybody happy. She’s the peacekeeper.

Aaden is our little professor. He makes everybody scream because he’s so cute and squishy.

Collin is a big, mushy bear. If you need a hug, you go to Collin. The way his eyes light up when he smiles…(swoons)

Leah is our tiny princess who just melts everyone’s heart. She has this big voice in this little tiny body. She’s precious.

Then there’s Joel. I love Joel. Sometimes he’s forgotten and left behind because he’s so quiet. When he does come out with a big voice, everybody listens. He’s a lot like Jon - so much so that it’s like watching Jon grow up all over again.

I’m already worrying about that “empty nest” thing. It’s going to be crazy, crazy, crazy, and then they’re going to be gone. I don’t think my role ends when they leave, but of course they’ll become independent. We’ve already warned our kids we’re going to be the most obnoxious, overbearing grandparents EVER.

We were just telling them last night at dinner, “When you need a babysitter, don’t call the other grandparents…call us!”

They just rolled their eyes and said, “Whatever.”

*****

If you enjoyed this story, you may also enjoy: Little People, Big World: Exclusive With Matt Roloff [5], or Fashionably Stacy London [6], or From Rock And Roll To Rocking The Cradle [7] or Giving Life To The Birth House [8].

Visit sixgosselins.com [9]

Video courtesy of Kljove [10]