I like to regard myself as a Maid Marian type of character gallantly tromping my way through various woodland habitats with my band of Merry Men. The other day as we foraged through the forest and over the highland hills, I asked the gents how they felt about the upcoming day of chivalry and love!
Little John with his tall strapping physique and perfectly shaved head replied to the matter with, “Oh, Crap!” Will Scarlet, the younger and happily married of the three gents, was less upset by my announcement of the upcoming day. He took the contented tone of the married guy, informing me that anniversaries and birthdays are more important in his house. Robin Hood, the token single guy in his mid-thirties, replied with one word: “Agony.”
My own feelings of indifference towards Valentine’s Day have long been solidified by past disappointments, but I was curiously intrigued by the gents’ responses to my queries.
All of them agree that material purchases are not important to women on this day, rather it is time spent together that is most appreciated and valued by their lasses. However, each passionately agrees that every woman in a relationship does want some acknowledgement on this day of love.
They noted that if a man does not pay some sort of homage to his fair lady on Valentine’s Day, pity the poor fool who will suffer her wrath on February 15th! He will be sure to feel a cold shoulder from his woman and will no doubt be forced to sleep on the couch, as she will have decided that the bed is suddenly too small with him in it!
Robin Hood, in his ever philosophical single guy pose, noted that a woman’s expectation of Valentine’s Day “is directly correlated to her level of enlightenment.” He told me that “if a woman is enlightened then Valentine’s Day is irrelevant.” I found Robin’s philosophical slant on this rather fascinating.
Like myself, Robin Hood currently possesses the single person’s luxury of leisure time through which we have the freedom to ponder at length on the subject of relationships. In this state, we presume we hold all the answers; yet, we both know in our heart of hearts that we become love sick fools when engaged in partnership!
As we walked along, I decided to dally deeper into the annals of their hearts and asked the gents what is the most romantic thing they have ever done on Valentine’s Day. Robin Hood chose to plead the Fifth Amendment on this question even though he is Canadian – too much American T.V., I suppose.
Blushing slightly and grinning ear to ear, Will Scarlet revealed that in his earlier innocence, while studying at university, he made his lovely lass and current wife a sumptuous dinner that only the true heart of a young man of 21 could conjure up: pasta with zucchini and tomato sauce – he would like it noted that it was not just any pasta, it was tortellini! The evening was replete with candy hearts decorating a T.V. tray and a romantic card carefully placed at its centre. As this was their first abode together on their own, both remember the event fondly.
But the winning tale of courtly love must tenderly go to Little John, who in the early phases of his current relationship impressed his lady with candles, wine and chocolate fondue on the roof of his apartment building. So dazzled was she by this abundant expression of his affections for her that she is still with him to this day. Little John graciously offers his magic fondue recipe to all men wishing to win the heart of a fair maiden this coming Valentine’s Day!
Ever impressed and hopeful was I after my jaunt through the forest with my band of Merry Men. Yet, I feel there is work to be done for the dear Robin Hood. Who knows? Perhaps dinner and a movie might entice him away from his wandering ways. The jury is still out on who will be the gallant lass to penetrate his lion heart this coming Valentine’s Day!
Little John’s Sure Footed Fondue Recipe of Love!
- One big Toblerone chocolate bar
- Break it into chunks
- Nuke in the microwave for 15 seconds
- Stir
- Run it to the roof and be sure not to forget the wine and strawberries!
