A tree has many layers of branches and leaves and while they grow over time they all come for the same seed. Similarly, all our layers of stress creating beliefs and perceptions come from one 'seed belief', one core belief, one wrong belief. 'Fix' that belief and it fixes everything, so to speak. And that belief is about our self. It is the belief in who we think (believe) we are i.e. our identity.

We learn to identify with many things during the course of our life but we are mostly not aware that we do. It starts with labels like gender, nationality, race, profession, looks, status, religion etc. We know that we are identified with any one of these, the moment they are threatened or insulted, or there is the possibility of loss, and we feel either tension or anger, or some sadness as a result. In such moments it's as if we believe, albeit subconsciously, we are these things, these labels, these ideas. Nationality after all is just an idea, it's not a stamp on the forehead! We forget that they are just labels and that we, you and I are not a label.

We even learn to 'identify' with possessions, people, positions and places, even our pay. If we are uncomfortable in any way when something happens to any of them then it means we are 'taking it personally'. It means we 'believe' we are them, albeit for a few moments or a lifetime! Which of course we are not! It's a wrong belief but it becomes an automatic habit and a conditioned, stress filled reaction emerges from it.

That's where our stress is coming from. This is not easy to see because everyone has learned to identify with what they are not and we also teach others to do the same. In the words of that well known saying 'the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children'. Otherwise known as 'inherited beliefs' that are not true!

Like the tree, at the very core of all these learned beliefs is the 'seed belief', the seed 'false identity', from which ALL these other false beliefs and identities come. It is the idea, the belief, that you are, and I am, what we see in the bathroom mirror in the morning i.e. our body, our physical form. All these layers of false, stress creating beliefs are simply 'extension beliefs', secondary 'false identities', that grow out of this one core false identity.

We give our form all those other labels and then identify with the labels (gender, looks, race etc). When we believe we are the form that we occupy we also learn to believe we are mortal and so the fear of death or ending is created. All fear ultimately has its roots in fear of death or endings. And all stress is fear.

This obviously begs the question that if we are not our physical form and therefore not our nationality, race, gender, position, not even our name, and if we are not what we possess or where we live or what we look like, then who on earth are we? What might be 'the truth' about our identity? Who are you? Who am I? And what difference would it make?

This of course is not a new question, but when we see that it lies at root of whether life will be stress free or stress full, it suddenly becomes slightly more interesting, not to mention important! It is also the one question whose answer can only be fully realized by the self, for the self, within the self. The answer, as we shall see, is beyond belief!

The spiritual answer, in theory, to this age-old question goes something like this. Essentially there are two energies at play in life, physical energy and spiritual energy. One is solid material, equipped with five senses, otherwise known as 'the body'. The other energy is non-solid, non-material, equipped with a mind, an intellect and a capacity to remember, sometimes referred to as spirit or soul.

This second energy (spirit) is what animates the first energy (matter). We often intuitively acknowledge this distinction in our conversations when we contrast human and being, form and consciousness, matter and mind, body and soul. Other 'names' for this spiritual energy include psyche or simply the 'self'. But they are only names.

And we, you and I are not names, including the one in our passport! What these 'spiritual' descriptions' of the self have in common is they describe the self as intangible, inaudible, invisible and internal. In other words you cannot see, taste, cut, burn or drown the true self. It is indestructible!

In other words, they describe the true inner self as a non-physical entity. Which is probably why no scientist has ever captured consciousness in a test tube! When we realize we are spiritual beings (energy without name and form) having a physical experience, and not a physical being (energy with a form and name) we arrive at our destination.

The key word here is 'realize' which means 'direct inexperience' of the self as non-physical as spirit, as opposed to just another belief embedded in words such as these. The power of this realization of the self dissolves all forms of stress i.e. mental and emotional suffering, which all have their roots in fear which always has its roots in the wrong belief that we, you and I are just physical entities.

From this spiritual point of view of the self as spirit the material world around us is seen as just that… quite distinctly material. The physical world of objects is just energy in many material forms, and the reality is that the energy in 'object forms' and the energy as 'objective scenes' (events) flow around and through our life.

They come to pass in many forms. Every thing passes. Every event arises and fades. But who remains, who is continuously observing, watching, as things pass and events fade? Who never goes or flows on? The 'I' that says, 'I am'. The self.

All of this may sound clear and understandable, even logical, in theory, on paper, in words, but how do we turn it into reality. How do we make it practical so that it makes a difference to how we act and interact, so that it makes a difference to our feelings, to the quality of our life, to the energy we share with others? What, in practical terms, do we need to do to transform the 'seed belief' into the truth that may set us free from our stress?

Almost every school of spiritual wisdom and learning has the same answer. The only way to go beyond conditioned beliefs, the only way to 'directly inexperience' the true self, is by the practice of some form of meditation or silent contemplation. Meditation is the bridge from theory to reality, from abstract concepts to personal experience, from idealization to realization. It is in the 'inexperience' of meditation that we 'see for ourselves', we become aware of our true self and know our true self.

During meditation you break your dependency on the words, theories and beliefs of others, and realize what is true for you. You begin to see the connection between your learned beliefs about your self i.e. all the false identities you have learned to create, and realize who and what you really are, a being beyond any label or category.

A being that is not a form, but a being that occupies a form. Almost all the sages and saints, down through all the ages, affirm that the moment you truly and fully realize your self as spirit (if spirit is just another loaded word for you then as 'pure awareness') then you have arrived home to the heart of you, the real you, the true you.

They call it self-realization and it is the only journey that requires no traveling and where you are guaranteed to lose all your baggage! In that moment of arrival you may also realize no one can touch you. They can touch the body that you occupy and animate, but they cannot touch you. In that moment, they say, you also realize you need nothing from others. Your body has needs, but you don't!

You already have all that you need and once that is fully realized for yourself, within your self, then you are free of all neediness and all wantingness! In that moment you are a free spirit in the deepest sense. And stress is no more. And once you cease to be caught up in your own self-created stress you can be fully available for others, fully able to 'give' to others.

But remember, don't believe a word that you read here. Experiment. Take your attention and awareness within, and see for your self. Look for your self. Meditate and reflect. Contemplate and reflect. And when you realize 'you', only then, they say, will you 'know', and belief will be entirely unnecessary.

Question:

What do you sense/see are the categories/thinks/objects/people that you tend to identify with the most?

Reflection:

Another way to arrive at your inner destination, which means the realization of who and what you 'really' are, is by a process of elimination. Take a few reflective moments and strip yourself of all the things that you are not. Write them down if it helps. For example, I am not my nationality. I am not my form. I am not my gender etc. etc. In this way you may become aware of all the things you identify with and therefore 'believe' that you are. You will then see where your anxieties and frustrations are coming from.

Action:
This week practice seeing yourself as a spiritual being, a conscious being, a being of consciousness, nothing more. What difference does it make to your responses to others? Watch how it changes your vision of others.