Scorpio
The sky is still up there where I'd usually expect to find it but paranoia of the unknown and most often the 'unlikely to occur' has taken over some people's lives like a disease that won't go away. For example, today I was waiting to cross a street to catch my morning bus and the two women who were standing on the same street corner darted across before the light changed almost as if my male presence was a threat to them.
This happens to me very often.
Was I planning to rape them or steal their purses in broad daylight on a downtown street with 100 or so people standing nearby at 9:30 a.m. on a weekday morning? The answer was 'NO.' I just wanted to get to work on time.
I really didn't think much of how some people are downright ridiculous until I left work to go home at the end of the day. I arrived at my bus stop where about 30 or so people were standing in addition to a marked police vehicle being parked directly in front of me. The two police officers were issuing a impaired driver his roadside suspension.
As I sat down on the bus stop bench a young woman grabbed her purse in a huff and darted away as quickly as she could? Was it my appearance in jeans and a sweatshirt that frightened her or do I have a stong resemblance to someone whom was featured on America's Most Wanted last week and was listed as armed and dangerous. I certainly wouldn't have succeeded in escaping with her handbag if I had chosen to grab it and run off.
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Thank you for the dialogue
By Heather Wallace, December 10, 2006 at 14:22Thank you for the dialogue and feedback Leslie. I guess your response proves that you never know what someone else has experienced and one should never make assumptions. Maybe the women you sensed paranoia from weren't actually afraid of you. You can't know that unless you asked them. Maybe they saw a break in the traffic and simply went for it...I have no doubt I will put up a fight if I'm ever attacked, but that won't stop me from being vigilant. If I'm walking down the street and get a funny feeling off someone, damn straight I'll cross over. Why take any chances just to spare someone's ego? Better safe than sorry, I say. Keep on writing.
Heather
Hi Leslie, My guess is that
By Heather Wallace, December 8, 2006 at 10:06Hi Leslie,
My guess is that you've never experienced walking down the street when a complete stranger grabs your buttocks when he passes and keeps walking. And maybe you've been lucky to have never been mugged or robbed. Personally, I've experienced both of those things. It's unfortunate that there are men and people in the world who do terrible things and that innocent men have to suffer mistrust because of the badly behaved few. But the fact is, that it's a different reality to be a woman, and that we simply don't know who will violate social trust and boundaries. Especially here in Vancouver, where five dozen women have gone missing, and half of those found buried on a pig farm. Clearly, at least in the town we share, something dark is going on, and it's a larger societal problem. Women have a reason to be wary. We do fear for our lives. It's not your fault, and obviously you suffer as a result too, as does everyone. But it's not ridiculous. And the fact your story says you wish to throw acorns at fearful people makes me think I don't want to be near you when you're holding acorns!
Leslie Benisz Well, actually
By Leslie Benisz, December 9, 2006 at 23:57Leslie Benisz
Well, actually Heather, I have been the victim of sexual abuse in the past and I have experience unwanted sexual groping and attention as a teenager from both women and men.
I didn't like it nor did I expect anyone to touch me like this but I've decided long ago that I will NEVER allow this kind of a person to control my life.
Yes, these things to happen and yes it's tragic, but I have the physical strength and the will to fight back.
It's interesting to note that even when kinesioligists have proven that women possess 80% of a man's physical strength, the strength that is actually required to kill someone in defence is even less than 50% of an average man's ability.
When I wrote about my experience of witnessing paranoia the incidents took place in broad daylight where many people were standing nearby.
One of the women was about 6'1 and the although assaults do occur during the daytime, I don't know how many men would attack a woman when three armed police officers and a marked squad car was parked less than 20 feet away from me at a bus stop and while another 30 people who could act as potential witnesses stood there waiting for the bus.
Perhaps because I've chosen to not allow anybody who had sexually abused or attacked me to continue to control my life by living in fear or giving up my right to lead a full and happy life, I can only expect that with the right therapy and assertiveness training, any man or women can recover from a rape or sex crime and learn to trust and even love again.
When I see how many women are physically fit and even muscular from regular visits to a local gym, I have no doubt that many women are fully capable of sending a painful message to any idiot who would take a chance in attacking women on the street.