Shakin' My Tabloid Brain

You have been chosen
to compete alongside five other women
in bikinis.
You will each crawl through that tunnel,
wearing nothing but a bikini.
You will have to pick up five flags.
At the end of the tunnel,
you will shake your booty
and wave your flags.
Next, you will have to eat
500 pounds of dog flesh,
while shaking your booty
and waving your flags.
Once you have swallowed
all 500 pounds of dog flesh,
you will have to jump through that hoop
while sucking on a cucumber.
The woman who does this the fastest
will win 10,000 dollars worth
of plastic surgery,
including breast augmentation,
lip injections, cheek implants, a brow lift, botox,
feminization of the ankles and calves,
dental veneers, hair extensions, a butt plug,
and liposuction to 99% of your body.
Then you will smile,
jump up and down in your bikini,
and thank me.

-Copyright Heather Wallace 2007

Reply to notice » | See previous notice | See next notice

• Login or register to post comments