Virgo
In between the kids starting school, bringing harmony to the multitude of schedules, attending trial and living through the events that life brings, I have been weeding my way through the various pieces of information written on the sex industry, and in particular the subject of de-criminalization.
As necessary with prudent research, one must always read an article in light of who funded the particular "study." I have found this to be ever so true for this topic. So as I plod along, slogging my way through, I thought I would share, not my stance on de-criminalization, but my fundamental belief about sex work.
While my time on the Downtown Eastside is the part of my life you hear me speak the most about, due to its relevance to the Pickton trial, I have also worked in a number of other venues - both legal and illegal - as an adult and as a minor. I will only speak to my experiences as an adult here for everyone knows any child involved in the industry is exploited. Overnight on my birthday however, I transitioned from child to adult, and these are the experiences I will speak to - those as an adult.
I remember friends convinced me back when I became a legal adult that if I went and got my escort license I would be making some big money, I bought into this line of thinking as it seemed everyone or most of my social circle was into this lifestyle. Part of the process of getting your license was paying a fee, doing a criminal records check and going for an interview with the police.
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Dad, brother, and I were in
By Seth God of Chaos, September 25, 2007 at 15:13Dad, brother, and I were in Ottawa a few years back for Winterlude. It was frickin' freezing out, very near zero with a high wind coming down from Parliament. I had a full extreme weather shell and jacket on, and it was still ungodly cold. We were walking back and I noticed a cute young girl near my age walking along alone. This gal was wearing lowrider jeans and a thin tight top, I couldn't believe she was even out in weather this bad. Thinking back on it, she had to be a street kid or sex trade worker. No one with someone to care for them would have let her go out like that. She made it to a building and went in, I hope she was okay. I kept wanting to go over and just give her my $500 coat. But my brother and Dad were right there, right? What the hell would they say, and all that social bullshit.
That's honestly one of the worst moments of my life right there, she was clearly in trouble and I did nothing. Killed me a bit inside as a human, and I've refused to turn a blind eye since. It gets to the heart of why I would NEVER advise prostitution to anyone: the clients don't care. You are simply a receptacle for repressed urges and when the client's done, they throw money at the girl and leave. The girl is the one who's left with the shame and self-hatred (even if unrealized) for what she's just been party to.
I can't relate to it more than that as I've never experienced the trade, that's just my take on it. Genuinely good clients don't exist. They wouldn't be able to put a sex trade worker through that crap. Genuinely good guys should walk up and hand the girl their $500 coat, then pay for a cab to make sure she gets home okay.
Re: Drawing My Line In The Sand
By Heather Wallace, October 3, 2007 at 12:28Trina Ricketts says: RE: Drawing My Line In The Sand - Comment 1/ - 09/27/07 4:46PM
Well, I've never traded sex for money, so I cannot speak as one who knows. I can only believe what I have been told by women who enjoy the work.
You said that sex workers who enjoy their work are lieing. You said they are clinging desperately to the falseness of their beliefs. You've done exactly what everyone else has done - silenced them by saying they are too degraded, exploited, and incompetent to speak for themselves.
I'm sorry, Trish, but your article doesn't sway my opinion at all. You don't need to prove to me or anyone that you've had enough experience in the trade to express an opinion on it. That's never been questioned. I do not devalue your feelings on the subject. I admire your strength to be public about them and share them with all of us.
But I will never assume that everyone's experience is the same just because one person with experience says so.
I've been told for a long time about how bad stripping is - how degrading it is and how exploitive it is, etc etc etc. But I've been out for three years now and I have no regrets. I miss it! However, I know another woman who had a bad time as a dancer. Although she has some wonderful memories, she'd found drugs when dancing and it consumed her life. Now she knows that she could never go back to it because the two go together for her - stripping and drugs. She and I have completely different experiences. But neither of us assumes the other is fooling herself. We are authorities on our own experiences.
If sex work was a respected and valued occupation, the results of your poll would have been completely different. It is the stigma and criminalization that brought the results it did. And those are the same reasons some clients can be so uncaring. They are taught to be that way towards sex workers. It's in our laws, our social codes, our upbringing.
Regardless of whether some workers like the work or not, though, I'm sure we both agree that they still deserve dignity and respect. Criminalization is undignified and disrespectful. Decriminalizing sex work in Canada will make it safer and easier to get out. Making laws harsher will only hurt sex workers more and lead to more deaths.
Sheri Scott says RE: Drawing My Line In The Sand - Comment 2/ - 09/27/07 8:09PM
Thank you Trish for saying what most people tap dance around... we beleive lies, make bad choices based on those lies, it affects us negatively (my paraphrase). I hope that for those who think they like prostitution (selling their bodies) or stripping and pornography (selling the opportunity to lust after their bodies) the day comes sooner than later, when the honesty happens and they realize the truth of how beautiful and precious they really are, and wonder how they could have ever wanted to prostitute that. My heart aches for those who don't know how valuable they really are (drugs or no drugs). Thanks again for blowing through the lies and crud and 'issues' and agendas and political correctness to bring it right back home to the fact that: there are precious people inside all those bodies!!! If we don't stand up and say that's not OK, who's gonna? The Brothel?
Trina Ricketts says RE: Drawing My Line In The Sand - Comment 3/ - 10/01/07
What a load of crap. Most people tap dance around that? Are you kidding? Most people spout that same line of BS that you are, Sheri. Whatever makes you or anyone think that I have less respect for myself because I stripped? Your comments are an indication of your ignorance and your condescending attitude.
Re: Drawing My Line In The Sand
By Sheri, October 3, 2007 at 18:07Hey Trina, sorry you think my opinion is BS, I don't. I just really care about people and think they are precious - I didn't mean to dishonor you by that.
Re: Drawing My Line In The Sand
By Trina Ricketts, October 4, 2007 at 11:57I also want to apologize for my hasty reply. I was obviously offended and reacted harshly. You are quite entitled to your opinion. I just don't feel that sharing my beautiful body with others is a disrespect to myself. For me, it's another way of spreading love and tolerance.