Fellow Addict On The Stand

To admit you have a problem is the first step to recovery. After you've done that, the rest falls into place, if you work it one step at a time. I certainly hope that Lynn Ellignsen will continue fighting that magnet within that keeps pulling her back to drugs each time she relapses. I know how powerful that magnet can be, putting you on the edge of your chair, contemplating whether or not to take that first hit.

When it takes hold of you, your stinkin' thinkin' says, "Just this one time." That's all it takes is one time to start you off where you left in your addiction.

From the first day I observed her on the stand, I could see Ms. Ellingsen's growing courage to voice herself to the defence lawyer Brooks, to try and explain what she's learned about her addiction so that they will hopefully understand what she's been going through.

She explained many times how foggy her memory is regarding what happened many years ago. Even a regular person has difficulty recollecting a couple of years ago, let alone eight years ago. However, I think she has done an astonishing job having to relive each event, even up to the time she witnessed a body hanging in the barn from a chain.

If what she says is true, or even if it's not, it takes courage to do what she's doing. However, we won't know until we hear the final verdict.

When I look back at my life when I was in my addiction it's as Ellingsen says, you block out certain things or stuff them away because, at the time, they don't seem important. Just from listening in court, I've had things come back to me that I'd forgotten about.