Sagittarius
Most people in my immediate family haven't really said how they feel about what I am doing, but my older sister has been remarkably supportive and has helped me with my writing. She's the biological daughter of my late adoptive dad and was adopted by my adoptive mom. One of my brothers, who's the biological son of my mom, hasn't really said anything, but it seems as though he supports me in this writing internship. My oldest brother is a different story. He's made up of different genes altogether, and I don't think I ought to comment on him or I might get sued.
While they all have an idea what I have been through, they don't really know everything, because we weren't really a close knit family until my dad passed away. It's really sad that family sometimes only pulls together when a loved one dies. We often take family for granted, so I've been telling my kids that family is everything. It's family that stands by you when you're in trouble, it's family that supports you when you're down and out and it's family that gives you support when good things happen to you to. At least in my family.
My husband's immediate family has supported me and is proud of me for speaking out for the victims of the Pickton trial and their families. I'm trying to help people understand my past lifestyle and what life on the streets is really like, and they can appreciate that.
However, members of my husband's extended family were quite another story. They were upset that I used their family name VanKoll. They were also quite upset when they learned that my husband Fred married an ex-prostitute who was a former drug addict/alcoholic.
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Hi Pauline - your story is a
By luyen, March 28, 2007 at 16:44Hi Pauline - your story is a very accurate observation, in fact you probably didn't need to write an entire story about it!
I've spent a bit of time watching my ego, and if you observe carefully a lot of our actions are motivated by self-interest, selfish self-interest.
There's nothing really more to say other than, judgments correct and incorrect are quickly born from that attitude of "me" and "my perception" of the world.
It's quite inconceivable how different things could be, if we all kept a closer tally on what we thought, said and did, free from absolute judgments.
Thank you!
Hi Pauline, once again I
By T-Lee, March 28, 2007 at 14:48Hi Pauline, once again I enjoyed reading your story. I just responded to Heather's story about the piping death in the DTES this past weekend and I realized some of what I said was also relevant to your story.
My partner and I are kind of in the same situation as you and your husband. My partner spent 10+ years of his life downtown, addicted, in and out of jail for trafficking and possession, in and out of hotels, living on the street and alienating his family and his child. I on the other hand, am from a completely different background, one might call it middle class. I've tried the odd drug, never interested, partied when I was in my 20s, but no more than anyone else. I have worked and supported myself since the age of 18 (I'm now 40), I own my own place, raise my child and I have never been in trouble with the law (except 2 speeding tickets). He and I met and, he will be the first to say, he began to change his life for the better. Since the day I met him I knew he had something special to offer, I also knew he had a lot of work to do in order to gain my trust. I am not an addict and never have been but I too have 'work to do' on myself. My family has a bit of a knowledge of his past but basically they have barely scraped the surface...and I mean barely. As it stands, they know him, love him and accept him. I dont know how they would feel, at this point, if they knew some of the evil he has done in his past. One day we will tell them, but we've only been together a couple of years so we will wait for awhile before we reveal everything to them. Maybe we never will. If he could use his past, his experiences and his knowledge to help others, I would stand behind him 100%, I would stand proud and deal with any fallout. In my heart I believe my family would also stand behind him and be proud, because that is the kind of people they are. It is interesting because the people who have forgiven him the most are the ones who have never lived the life he has, his parents, his siblings, his extended family etc.. On the other hand, he is denied access to his child from the mother and yet she too lived the same life as him and has found recovery and forgiveness in her life, but wont afford it to him. He and I try to see the positive even in this situation as it is just another of lifes challenges that he can now meet head on rather than run away from by using drugs. In the past he would allow himself to be bullied by the other party and end up just giving up, now, along with the support and help of myself and our families he can resolve this issue and heal yet another aspect of his life. Triumphs like this are empowering and are all too rare in the life of people struggling with addiction and with a 'past'. Once you have chosen a path of self love and forgiveness I truly believe that things will come to you and things will work out the right way. Those who hold grudges and make judgements against others, especially when they use children as a pawn, are the ones who bear a huge burden on their shoulders, they are the ones we should have compassion for.
I appreciate the stories you and Trish share and continue to wish you both the best now and always.
I'd love to see a series of
By larsmith, March 30, 2007 at 18:20I'd love to see a series of articles written by ex-girls of the streets, addressed to young women, telling them why they should do everything in their power to stay away from the life you and Trisha and other women have lived.
There's a chance that if you could publish what happened to you and publish the ways which ARE available to get off the streets, perhaps more women would successfully avoid the streets and/or curtail an extended and potentially deadly stay on the streets.
Women respond best to women who know what they're talking about. Pour all the reality into your articles that you can so that young readers, as well as those feeling already trapped on the streets have hope of escape and learn what resources ARE out there for them to get off the streets.
What I'd expect to see also is names of the pimps who're out there, as well as their favorite recruiting grounds and tactics used which eventually trap the girls. I would expect a sincere author ( one or more of these ex-girls of the street ) to tell where the sisters operate.
It would be good if these authors would also get out there on the street and talk to and interview girls still on the streets and tell what efforts the _authors_ have made to convince the girls that it's time to get off the streets.
How about an article or two, addressing parents, and telling them of the tell-tale signs which parents can be looking for, to discover in time if their daughter is ripe for the picking by these pimpos.
Write articles which tell parents what they can do to keep their daughters off the streets and, if their daughters are on the streets, what the parents can do to rescue their daughters from the control of their masters.
There's been a call for more help for the girls, more safe places, more counselling, etc. I'd love to see how Pauline and Trisha are helping these sisters who're still out there. What part of their own lives are they dedicating and sacrificing to their sisters, in order to see them safely out of harms way and gainfully employed. How are Pauline and Trisha helping these girls get drug and alcohol free ?
There's some ideas for articles which have the potential of having a category of their own, right up there with "Current Events", "Entertainment", "Health & Science", etc.
Pauline & Trisha, are you up for the challenge. You've both said that more should be done for the sisters who're still out there, in harms way. Tell us all what YOU are doing to get them safely away from their profession.