So I Wish I Could Dance

So it comes as a bit of a surprise that I am captivated by this show. My fascination with SYTYCD started a few years ago when I’d catch glimpses of it while my mom and sister fawned over the men and women flipping their way across our television.

Fast forward three years and I’m a legitimate fan. Unlike American Idol, which becomes a chore to watch after the audition phase, ‘Dance’ is a treat throughout the whole season. While it’s impossible not to be entertained by a flabby, mid-forties man in spandex pants awkwardly somersaulting to a Kanye West song, the show really does get better once the excess fat is trimmed.

Now I’m sure some macho guys are thinking to themselves, “Wow, no real man should be watching this show.” What part of watching sexy, incredibly fit girls in skin-tight outfits pelvic thrust, booty shake, (and bend in ways I didn’t think possible) doesn’t appeal to a guy?

Side note: If I were a guy on this show, I would absolutely try to sleep with every single one of my partners. It’d be like shooting fish in a barrel. You’re constantly touching and grinding, it’s your job as a pair to ooze sexiness, everyone’s slick and sweaty and in semi forms of nakedness. I mean come on, could it get any easier? If you’re a heterosexual man competing on SYTYCD and you haven’t slept with a female contestant, you’re an embarrassment to men everywhere.

Now besides the ‘hot girl’ factor, the real reason I like this show is because it makes me want to dance. Usually it takes a combination of four shots of tequila and Justin Timberlake to make me cut a rug. ‘Dance’ is cheaper and a lot easier on my liver.