Optimus Primus: A Chat With A Call Centre In India

I got a call from a telemarketer today.

She asked to speak with the person in the house who is authorized to make decisions.

Wow, gee, I think that's all of us, I said.

''So are you the authorized person in the house?''

''Sure,'' I said, thinking I have some time and kind of feel like breaking the zombie-like routine of this telemarketing call. So I made myself comfy.

She was trying to sell me a Primus deal, which I immediately balked at. ''No way, Primus ripped me off already.''

She asked me what happened, with what service. ''When?''

''Probably this would have been 1999 or 2000, '' I said.

''Well, eight years have passed, and Primus Canada has changed,'' she said.

I told her I had actually used another Primus service a few years ago - long distance for my cell phone, and remember being ripped off when I cancelled it. I was charged for an unused extra 28 days of service because I'd cancelled the service two days into my monthly pay period.

She tried to convince me Primus was obviously now a good service since there are more than 700,000 people signed up for it across Canada.

Now I know the number of people who pay for a service does not make that service good. In fact, in my experience, if a telecommunications company has lots of customers it tends to indicate the company has a monopoly on service, and its customers have to pay for artificially-inflated prices. It certainly doesn't mean the service is good. She kind of laughed nervously when I said this.

''Where are you?'' I asked.

''Our company headquarters is in Etobicoke,'' she said.

''No, where are you?'' I asked.

''I'm in India.''

Now I really wanted to have a conversation with her.