Love & Sex

The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

Flavored Condoms, Durex, Trojan

The condom became an instant inside joke, and we ran off to show it to our exasperated guitarist, dare our friends to taste it, and even bring it onstage as a good-luck charm. '
By Citizen Correspondent Adrienne Matei
Date Posted: 03/27/08
Reader Rating: rating

Last year my band was allotted a spot to play at a local winter music festival. We were psyched! Inebriated with adrenaline, we tried to expel our jitters by pounding on our guitarist (the only boy in our group) with drumsticks, and, in typical girly fashion, by dodging in and out of the washroom together like a flock of confused birds trying to remember which way to migrate...

It was on one if these nervous trips that our twittering minds were captivated by a little metal case on the bathroom wall, attached with the type of “insert coin and twist” contraption that gumball machines rely on, although despite its sticker advertisement of “Tropical Flavors!”, this box did not contain candy.

It’s funny what an extremely apprehensive mind will latch on to in order to quell its nerves...how mere minutes before show time, we all sought solace in a mutual discovery of an item we’d never really realized existed before.

Flavored condoms simultaneously struck all three of us as absolutely absurd and hilarious. We had vaguely heard of their existence, but they only really became a reality to us when under our noses. You could say the discovery was kind of like meeting Santa Claus in person, if he was less jolly old elf, and more latex banana-flavored sex paraphernalia.

The condom became an instant inside joke, and we ran off to show it to our exasperated guitarist, dare our friends to taste it, and even bring it onstage as a good-luck charm. Alas, the night of the concert ended, and we parted ways, forgetting our previous stage-fright as well as the condom, which had concluded its evening, nestled safely in the back pocket of my jeans.

Fast forward to the next day. I’m off at school, and while at home, my grandmother wanders into my bedroom. She sees my jeans, thrown in a late night haphazard pile on my floor, and, tut-tutting my sloppiness, picks them up, tilting them at an angle just sharp enough for a little yellow packet to tumble out of their back pocket.

“What’s this?” Grandma thinks, making out the word “banana” on the wrapper, despite being sans-glasses.


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Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By daphne atieno, April 2, 2008 at 02:43

well its good to know that teens feel the need to communicate their experiences with the last two generations well am an african and we are taught abot sex depending on your tribe for me my mother is supposed to teach me and yeah thats awkward. But on the other side my dad is very free to discuss this topic so we discuss sex with him not the nitty gritties but the safe sex,emotions and the rest, all this was encouraged by the HIV AIDS campaign in kenya dubbed in swahili"Fungua Roho Yako which means open your hearts to your children thus encouraged parents to be sensitive to their children's experiences concerning sex. Well i think it will be nice not to run if caught in such moments but choose this time to let them know that you are sexually active and its time you all sat down and talk about it, that way you are letting them know you are mature,and you know what you are into thus alaying any fear they might have which means a conducive enviroment for serious talk next time and also a change of opinion that we are lesser beings.

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By strangemusic, March 29, 2008 at 12:12

Adrienne! This is probably the best one yet! Condoms are... no pun intended... deliciously awkward inventions, created solely to be worried about in every way possible. Ah, what a lovely nugget of family history you've shared with the whole internet.

Also you are 100% above Yoko Ono in layout position powers!

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By Adrienne, March 29, 2008 at 13:07

*facepalm*
Thanks brah, i'm glad you like it...but seriously facepalm regarding that last sentence XD

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By ashley, March 28, 2008 at 12:30

It seems that having an awkward experience with your parents and sex is just another embarrasing milestone that you are rare if you didn't experience.

Mine happened the day that I moved from one apartment to another while still living with my dad. My dad had left for work that morning and the guy that I was dating was coming over to help me un-pack. As the old story goes, one thing led to another, keeping in mind that there were 2 teenagers in the house alone, and we decided to have a shower.

Well wouldn't you know, that my dad came home to check whether the phone guy had come to set up our lines.

Literally the most embarassing moment of my life. I remember wanting to be the water as it went down the drain.

I tried to collect myself, the terrified boyfriend stayed in the shower without the water going, as I went out to face the music. That was the day that I realized my father was amazing. He didn't get angry instead told me that he was proud of me that I was mature enough to be in a sexually active relationship.

My dad is still amazing, and that day went from horrific to amazing...

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By Heather Wallace, March 28, 2008 at 15:47

so true about the milestone thing...I was 16 and my BF had been sleeping over for a few months, literally under my dad's nose, but was able to sneak out each day through the walk out basement. It wasn't his loud snoring echoing through the vents into the kitchen where my dad enjoyed a morning java that gave us away, but the day when I saw a spider in my bathtub and asked my dad to kill it.

He did, but he also discovered my birth control pills sitting on the bathroom counter. He was crushed. But he recovered, and I avoided Jamie Lynn Spears' fate...

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By Mike Small, March 27, 2008 at 11:19

If only parents and grandparents were more comfortable with the thought of their children having sex, many an awkward situation could be avoided.

It reminds me of an incident where I was sleeping over at a new girlfriend's house one night after seeing a movie. I had asked her if her parents were cool with me spending the night and she said it wasn't a big deal. I learned later she had fairly loose grasp on the idea of truth, but back to the story at hand.

So after making out for a bit (everything above the waist) we began to drift off to sleep. As I was near unconsciousness, I felt the covers torn from the bed, and whirled around to see my girlfriend's mother staring daggers at me. She began to shout things like, "Are you ready to be a father!" and "Are you going to support my daughter when she's pregnant!"

I was wearing nothing but boxer shorts, and my girlfriend was topless with a pair of underwear on. I'll never forgot watching mother and daughter screaming at each other while I dressed in a daze, mumbling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again.

I don't know if that ranks up there with a grandma chewing a banana flavored condom in the 'Awkward Scale', but it goes to show that many parents need to open the sexual lines of communication as to avoid scarring kids for life.

Re: The Banana-Flavored Big Deal

By Heather Wallace, March 27, 2008 at 10:55

Bravo Adrienne...Bravo.

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