Unleash Your Inner Lioness

If you don't have someone playing with you, play with yourself!

...if you don’t have someone else playing with you for Valentine’s Day – play with yourself.

By Citizen Correspondent Lioness for Lovers Kim Switnicki

Date Posted: 02/16/08

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Women are incredible. In most areas of life they’re competent and capable, can multi-task like crazy and manage to take care of business all while raising a family. Yet, when it comes to the bedroom, many of these same women become unsure, timid and withdrawn and are really frustrated when their partners can’t “make” them orgasm. They desperately want to share their true desires with their hubby but the big secret is how? Unfortunately, we grow up not feeling “allowed” to say what’s on our mind much less feeling good about how to ask for what we want in bed!

More than two thirds of women have, at some point, faked their own orgasm, and given that the most important part of love-making for men is their partner’s satisfaction, this is a tragedy! A recent Chatelaine survey noted that 25 per cent of Canadian women regularly fake their orgasm. Tonight, do both of you a favour and have a truly satisfying encounter.

One way to begin is to pick sexual positions where you have your hand between your legs. Take charge of your own orgasm! Alternatively, use a vibrator so your forearms don’t get tired. Developing your own comfort with your body goes a long way towards helping your sweetie learn more about what turns you on.

Another tip to improve your sensual pleasure is to stay warm or ask for a foot rub. Do you like to make love when you’re cold? Being warm and having your feet massaged will help shut down the amygdala (which controls fear and anxiety) in the female brain. This assists your own arousability which is necessary for orgasm.

Studies have shown that when the amygdala is engaged, you can’t get turned on, so shut it down by relaxing and not worrying about anything – not your kids, homework, shopping, renovation, banking, soccer games, dentist appointments…

The old adage “use it or lose it” is just as true for the clitoris as it is for the mind. The sole purpose of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. If you are celibate or just don’t bother to get (or receive) any clitoral stimulation, your body will, over time, forget how to orgasm. This is scary!