Scorpio
I’m 24…and I’m single. I know hold on to your seats. We really do exist out there. In my whole dating life I have never really been single. I moved, absent-mindedly, from one relationship to the next until one relationship was so bad that I never wanted to move on to another relationship without thinking before plunging. And thinking is really all I have been doing.
Of course there comes the nights, after reading yet another novel where the woman ends up with the man of her dreams, where you think that is just never going to happen to me. Or when you are invited to yet another of your friends weddings, planning bachelorette parties and buying new lingerie for the honeymoon night, that you think, “If I need to go through the actions of being excited for another person’s commitment to a married life I may vomit.” But then I begin to realize all the wonderful things that single life brings to you.
The first time I went grocery shopping after my horrible break up I finally realized that I hated the toothpaste I had been buying for “us” the last four years. And that stupid spaghetti meal I needed to buy ingredients for every week, because it reminded him of his mother, is no longer a priority in my life. Guess what is a priority? My mother’s macaroni and cheese meal that he hated…that new toothpaste that doesn’t taste like baking soda burning into the gums of your mouth…my priority became me. I no longer had to put up with going to bed when he wanted to go to bed….I could go to bed when I wanted to….and do whatever I wanted to do when I got into bed.
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Re: Yes I'm Single, Got A Problem With That?
By Lady LO, September 24, 2008 at 21:13I hear ya girl, I'm 24 as well and when I look at people my age getting married I just think to myself "Really?" I think it's great that you enjoy your independence, and I think that as long as you really pursue your happiness in life good things will come, good men will come, and they will go and you will still be fabulous. Just remember that. Cheers!
Re: Yes I'm Single, Got A Problem With That?
By Michelle Kenneth, August 2, 2008 at 10:03I'd like to congratulate you on learning what it means to be an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. But don't fret, 24 is way too young to get married. I say that because I'm 32 and I chose my career and myself first before falling into the societal demands that a woman should get married before she's 25 and have a bun in the oven.
Sure, the parents of most of us 30-somethings bug us all the time about getting married and having children, but to put it bluntly, I don't want to be a divorce statistic like they were.
I would say that 92% of my friends that married in their 20s were divorced before they hit their 30s. WHY? Because when you are in your 20s, you are supposed to learn about what it means to be an individual for the first time in your life without your parents taking care of you. You're supposed to be learning what it means to be an adult.
Why people have this idea that in this day and age, rushing off to get married right out of high school or college is what you are supposed to be doing in your life, just mind boggles me. They fail to see that we have to learn to grow up before we can be married and start raising our own litter.
But for women, especially, we have to learn what it means to be independent and take care of ourselves, b/c we are going to be empty if we are constantly pleasing everybody else's needs but our own. Depression usually sinks in from this lack of giving ourselves attention...alcoholism...you get my drift. Until one day, you end up rebelling and your kids are witnessing it all.
I believe that most women who marry at a later age (in their mid 30s/early 40s) have a better sense of what their true needs are. You know how to survive on your own if something were to happen to your husband. You have a better sense on how to raise your children, b/c having children is a choice not a societal must. You know how to have a relationship with your partner where you are both on an equal level and not having to deal with childish immaturities. Both of you understand responsibility, b/c you've been out there long enough to know what it means to be an adult. But you also realize that together you are learning intelligently what it means to be married and to have a family. It's a choice where both parties contemplated making a conscious decision that they truly wanted to spend the rest of their life with this person. It's not just about love. It's about more then that.
Enjoy your 20s. Date (but be smart about it). Enjoy life. Enjoy your freedom. You're going to love what the world has to offer, and all those girls that married in their 20s and had kids will be looking at you enviously wishing they had made the decision to stay single in their 20s rather than running off to marry and have a family.
Oh, and you will constantly be asking when your true love will come along. But when they do, you'll be thankful you waited around for them. Because sometimes, when we tell God what our tall order is...it takes him a while to build that perfect man for us. They're being seasoned a little longer so that they'll be ready for us and we will be for them.
There will be marriage proposals you turn down, b/c when you visualize your life with that person, you realize that's not a life you want to live and you move on. Being independent makes you realize that you create your own destiny and you don't settle for something that just isn't right for you. It takes being on your own to understand that.
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