Bi Bi Birdie

I’m an old man now and rarely make it out to the bars (remember, I’m not under oath here). But I do remember one of the last times I did go with a group of friends. There were two really hot girls dancing with each other on the dance floor – I use the term dancing here very freely – it was much closer to rounding second base and sliding into third. So it was hard not to watch.

Not much of a story I know, except at this point one of the girl’s boyfriends decides that in a room full of guys watching this performance, he would single me out and pick a fight with me. I was the designated driver that evening so I had nothing to drink – a little scary really because this pissed me off to no end and I had no readymade excuse for my reaction.

That guy got a beat down that day (and I’m no longer allowed to frequent ‘Big Bucks’ – the name of the club) - courtesy of me and my half dozen drunken buddies.

I just wanted to add that it is important for people to be careful. You (women) are powerful creatures with the ability to scramble the brains of even the most rationally centered males around. And always remember that there are sometimes unintended consequences of seemingly benign behaviour.

Or maybe the message is not to date jealous guys - I don’t know – for what it’s worth.

As a guy who isn't too far out of his teens, this article made me laugh because I have been to various parties or bars where I've seen girls "experimenting" for a guy's entertainment.

I've even been approached by girls asking if I would like to watch them make out. I think the first few times it happened, I had the same reaction most guys would...."wow"

But after a few times the novelty wears off and it seems pretty desperate. Everyone should feel free to experiment, but perhaps it's not the best idea to do it in an attempt to get a free vodka redbull.

Adrienne --
Your have an extremely mature and sensible view on this matter.
It is really easy to follow your thought progression and you provide clarity that is rather uncommon in the complicated lives of "young people" today.
Great job!! :)

I don't know if it's necessarily fair or correct to refer to male atraction to bisexuality as "perversion". Pervesion is kind of a loaded word, that dates back to a time when nuns ran schools, and any iota of sexual knowledge was perversion, and any recognition of sexual attraction was labelled thus as well.

Bravo -- I like writing that gets to the heart of the matter with confidence and conviction. Adrienne, you write with refreshing directness and a fearlessness of view that is to be admired -- that I happen to agree with those views is just an added bonus to the pleasure of reading this article.

Hi Heather,
Although I would like to take some credit for honing Adrienne's skills as a writer, I cannot take credit for her article (just wanted to draw your attention to your comment address;-).

As for her topic, I think she does deal with the issue in both its entirety and the frustrations that spawn from media aggrandizing of women's sexuality. I personally have a problem with what I like to call public displays of “experimental bi-sexuality" or the “experimental lesbian” who I believe demeans those people who actually do prefer one sex over another. Growing up with friends and family members who are part of the homosexual community, I see the use of female bi-sexuality through the media as nothing more than furthering male titillations. This made me angry as a teenager and it still does to this day. Knowing Adrienne as I do, I can attest to the fact that her own opinions on this are indeed very mature and well formed for a young woman of her age.

I could go on, but I need to get back to honing the skills of other young writers and free thinkers! :-)

Thanks Adrienne - Once again, your writing bears a maturity twice your age or more. You've raised some very important points, which I hope other young females (no longer girls, not yet women) will find empowering.

I think there is one angle you didn't touch on, which is the fact that many girls/young women (women-in-training?) are genuinely attracted to their gender, and the fact that it's a turn-on to the guys may give them an excuse to engage in behavior they want to experiment with anyway. In cases where this is true, I think it's important that they feel empowered to explore for their own reasons, and not necessarily on display for all to see, in the hallways, at parties, or on Facebook! (And perhaps they could explore the IDEA of their same-sex curiosities instead of feeling pressured to act on them).

One thing I'm grappling with is the language I'm supposed to use to describe your female demographic. Perhaps you can help me. I remember when I was your age, I hated being called "young woman." The term 'woman' just didn't sit well with me. Now that I am a woman, I am still often referred to as a 'girl,' and that sits even less well! The grey space doesn't necessarily go away when one grows up!

How do you identify?

Heather Wallace
senior editor
Orato.com