My Friend Looks Like Jesus

My friend looks like Jesus. He is not religious, but a psychic once told him that he feels strongly connected to son of God. He goes to church every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Not to pray but to serve and eat a free lunch in the church annex.

The ancient church ladies, who have seen more sun than the desert sand, and who can only understand a little of his broken Spanish, treat him like a man with a profound connection in their hearts. The main reason could be that he resembles the only man who ever gave a damn in their lives, the only man who ever listened to them.

I always run into my friend that looks like Jesus. I don’t know where he lives, but I know it is not in Nazareth. That is too far from this neighborhood in Nicaragua, and he doesn’t have a car that transforms into a motorboat. No, my friend walks.

I can see his chilling and mesmerized eyes from a focused distance. His beard is dark and full - black and tan, but not like a chocolate stout. I can tell he has been fasting, not because of moral objection but because his wallet has been fasting as well.

My friend who looks like Jesus has many amigos. Not because he is a politician but because they like what he has to say. He is interesting.

My friend, who has expressed his dismay about not finding a women to have sex with in this city does not realize that ¨having sex with Jesus¨ is not on the top ten list of women’s fantasies in highly religious cultures (Although some underground pollsters have evidence against that assumption.)

My friend almost smokes only rolled cigarettes with pipe tobacco.