Wreck Beach Nudist: An Endangered Species

We’re just those quirky folks you come to join when you need a little escape from gentrification...those au naturel bohemians who entertain you on your sunny days away from the office.

You take for granted our existence for the most part, but I am here to tell you that one day soon Goliath will win and you will be wishing away the world with no place to go, let alone get naked.

How dare we enjoy ourselves for almost free, just 15 minutes from downtown Vancouver? It seems to me this can no longer be tolerated by the University of British Columbia and its towers of mass destruction - their hopes for a ferry terminal that will one day expediently transport thousands of polluting tourists directly up to Squamish without having to go all the way around, through the city and across the bridge.

A proverbial new sea wall is looming and us nudists are being forced from our natural habitat because David liked to drink beer, smoke the occasional joint and pee in the bushes.

It’s too bad us nude sunbathers didn’t resonate closer to your hearts, because it wasn’t about being nude. It was about fighting for the natural state of things. It’s about clean air and water. It’s about body acceptance and the shunning of class systems that separate us humanoids.

It’s actually about inclusion not exclusion. We represent the ultimate liberation from consumerism by bonding with fellow beach goers without the clothes and cars that separate us elsewhere.

Alas, we skinny dippers are portrayed as the scourge of the earth, luring unsuspecting teenagers into a path of debaucheries. Peeing in the woods now constitutes mass pollution, regardless of big business dumping toxic chemicals in our drinking water everyday.