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As my date perused the dessert menu he softly mumbled, “I don’t really want to eat dessert if you can’t have anything. I feel bad.”
I said equally softly, “Please don’t. I really can’t eat desserts out. But it would give me pleasure if you enjoyed some.”
That seems to do the trick and he settled on an allergen-friendly Key Lime gelato. We were at La Lanterna Caffe, tucked into the heart of the former Greenwich Village, now NYU-land, and a cozy mainstay for jazz, sweets, and conversation.
When our waiter/host/GM/tea buyer came around I inquired after the peppermint tea. He said, “We have two kinds, organic mint and a mint 'mélange'.”
“Hmmm a mix you say? It’s just mint? No almond flavors or something else nutty in that mix? I only ask because I’m allergic to nuts.”
“Nut allergies? Then you should leave right now. No, no I’m only joking. Seriously, don’t eat any of the desserts here. I always tell people when they have allergies that they shouldn’t eat dessert here. You have your Epi-Pen? ("I'm carrying two") Well, you know the story - we can’t control what we didn’t make.”
He then launched into a harrowing Tale of Two Lasagnas. Suffice it to say a nut-pesto contaminated spatula was used with his nut-allergic best friend’s dinner. Facial edema ensued and then an ER visit but his friend was okay. The episode made a lasting and indelible impression upon our waiter/host/tea buyer, which meant now he “gets it.”
After his story, I thought it was perfect time to explain to my date the Allergic Girl protocol in case anything did happen whilst eating out. I didn’t do it earlier because I felt confident that I wouldn’t have an allergic issue.
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Re: The Delicate Art Of Dating With Food Allergies
By Robyn Stubbs, March 6, 2008 at 14:23Allergy Girl, I feel your pain! My husband has brush his teeth and gargle before coming in for a wet one after he's eaten cookies!
You can call me Celiac Girl, and more recently, Dairy-Free Girl and Corn-Free Girl. I think you'll believe me when I say that's one tough combination. It took a little while (a span of about 10 years) to actually pin down my food allergies. The thing I find most irritating is having the SAME CONVERSATION over and over: "What happens to you when you eat gluten?"
I totally understand the natural curiosity and the question itself is not irritating. But please understand: I have to mention my allergy every time I go out to eat and to have someone ask that question almost every time can make me feel like a broken record! And what am I supposed to say when the result of gluten contamination results in some pretty ugly digestion issues? Do you really want to know that I get constipated for weeks? There. I said it. I bet you're glad you asked ;)
Having gotten that off my chest, food allergies are becoming increasingly common and I am grateful that so many people are so understanding about it. I used to feel quite bad going into restaurants and custom-ordering my meal, but these days, the service industry is getting used to those requests and beginning to realize that's not just because I'm a picky eater.
I also have to say that you make a really good point about food allergies and dating: You can tell a lot about a potential partner by the way he reacts to your food allergies - it's a built-in test!
Robyn Stubbs
Community Building Editor