I Survived Postpartum Depression

I decided to keep the baby and give it the best damn life possible without the father because I didn't want to raise a child in that environment. I was happy and excited to be a single mom. I made a decision I was proud of and had the full support of my wonderful family. I remember reading about postpartum depression in all my preparation manuals but always discarded it because I was too happy and couldn't imagine NOT wanting my baby. I was so excited about the day of the birth and years to come.

About three weeks after the birth of my beautiful son, I moved closer to family. The place I planned to move into didn't work out, so I had to move again. In all this time I was moody, but I just took it as being overwhelmed and scared with all that was going on and being a single mom.

I remember looking at my son and wondering "Shouldn't I feel more elated?" I couldn't figure out why my maternal instinct wasn't kicking in. I put up with all this for two months. In the third month things really started to go downhill. I finally settled in my place with my son, but I wasn't happy.

I would cry all the time, I would snap at him just for crying and I was dreading spending the rest of my life raising this thing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my son and never thought of hurting him, but I also resented having him. I would think I should have just gotten an abortion; then my life could be back to normal.