Health & Science

This Is Not About Sardine Sandwiches

Mammogram, photo, breast cancer screening

Mammogram.


In we go. I can feel my heart thumping under Left Old Girl, I smile and say some silly things, as I always do, to mask the fact that I am nervous as hell about what happens next. '
By Citizen Correspondent Audrey-Mae Fox , Barbados
Date Posted: 03/21/07
Reader Rating: rating

This afternoon, the Old Girls and I went on a bit of an adventure. I took them for their first breast cancer screening. Yes, the hugely feared Mammogram-. The Big Squish, The Splat-All of the above, the Girls and I went prepared for one of the most traumatic and painful exercises in womankind, second only of course by the wondrous agony of childbirth. Yes, the weaker sex that we are have quite a few little episodes of hurtful physical pain to endure before we get senile and then (joyously and most surprisingly) forget them all! So off we went, the three of us, bouncing and jiggling all the way to the Breast Cancer Society in Collymore Rock.

I must tell you, after being warned by the personnel not to wear deodorant, powder, cream or perfume today prior to the screening, my nerves were beginning to spark off that wonderful aphrodisiac scent (appreciated only in some parts of Africa, Asia, France and on 5 o'clock bus routes throughout the Island), which I fondly called Stinky Pits. But hey, it was 2:20 in the afternoon, and I was for the past hour, on a bit of an errand which involved some activity- Stinky Pits were about to kick in, fear contributing to this in some measure.

The three of us pulled into the car park- okay- here we are Old Girls- time for you to COMPLETELY lose whatever rotund form that your children left you with-.. you are now about to become conical (and comical no doubt) flaps of skin, with two horrible metal plates doing the most unnatural things to you. It's not enough that I have the Girls tucked away (upwardly) in a bra all day to hinder this very thing from happening, but to do it to them on purpose seemed all a bit surreal. Almost sadistic and quite frankly, unkind.

In we go, present that little pink slip to the Receptionist, who sweetly directs me to "that side" of the clinic. Wow- Barbie on acid- Pink and Purple in the most girlie-girl of ways. Lovely soft pink everything everywhere, nice cool fan, two lovely ladies in the waiting room, (one just came out and was not crying), the other was waiting like me. We chatted, each of us agreeing that no matter what was involved, the option of the unknown was not there. Safety in numbers-.


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Comments

Great story. Early detection

By Richard Day Gore, April 10, 2007 at 04:23

Great story. Early detection is so vital. But the word "cancer" strikes such terror that many people would rather be in the dark. It would certainly help if someone other than Torquemada would redesign the mammogram machine so that the process isn't so uncomfortable and potentially humiliating. If there's a similar machine to scan for testicular cancer I'll bet it's nice and comfy.

Richard Day Gore

A very witty and

By Island Woman, March 22, 2007 at 03:27

A very witty and entertaining article about a most serious subject - an excellent read! Let's see some more from you!

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