I Have Breast Cancer

We confirmed it's breast cancer-DCIS," he said after my second mammogram. DCIS? Ductal Carcinoma in Situ-which is really a bunch of abnormal cancerous or pre-cancerous cell, depending who you talk to, in the milk duct(s). The cells stay there. Hence DUCTal Carcinoma (cancer) in SITU (in place).

No lump, no tumor, no pain-just some organized anarchist cells. After the third mammogram the doctor said, "Pathology has found a micro-invasive cell group." Invasive is bad. On to the stereotactic biopsy. Two lumpectomies and one bout with staph infection later, I am "cancer-free" according to my surgeon. There are no cancer cells in me. But radiation is in my future because of that pesky cluster of micro-invasive cancer cells less than one millimeter in size.

Today is December 2, 2006. I am facing my last week of radiation, week six. I will have the same amount of radiation as each of the last five weeks' sessions, but all aimed at the former abode of the bad cells. The last five weeks have been spent on my stomach on a table with the remainder of my left breast getting radiated by what I picture as Fat Man and Little Boy - the two atomic bombs the U.S.A dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima respectively. People were incinerated on the spot, their shadows left on sidewalks and steps. Thermal Rays Leave Human Shadow On Stone Steps / Shadow Of Handrail." I was scared of having a shadow instead of a breast. I don't. I don't know how much radiation I've absorbed. I don't want to know.