Hot Lixx Hulahan

Winner of the 2008 World Air Guitar Championship

Forget Guitar Hero, video games are for suckers. Any self respecting Air Guitarist will tell you that. Before jumping around in front of your TV with a plastic instrument was cool, rocking out with your imaginary axe was the way to go. When I'm not busy playing in two bands, I take the time to rip, sans guitar. I'm Hot Lixx Hulahan, the 2008 World Air Guitar Champion.

My old roommate’s two-year-old air guitars any time you put on a Ramones record. No one taught her that, she just does it. I think every appreciator of rock music has done some variation of air guitaring, be it singing in the shower with a shampoo bottle microphone or drumming on the steering wheel of your car—I’m just shameless enough to do it in front of others, while dressed up (or down), and under the harsh scrutiny of drunken celebrity judges.

My stage name is taken from the M*A*S*H character Hot Lips Houlihan. I just made it less sexy and more rock, much like myself. The moment I won the U.S. championship in 2006 I vowed to try and take competitive air guitar semi-seriously. There were so many awesome performers I went up against who obviously put time, effort, spirit and fun into their routines that for me to not take the whole thing semi-seriously would have been an offense to them.

The Guitar, The Song, The Outfit

The "guitar" itself is always nameless, but how I wear it changes greatly. Rock? Low-strung. Speed picking thrash? Up high. Rodrigo y Gabriela? Resting on my inner thigh. Nickelback? Punch someone in the neck. Any song that inspires me to rock out with as much awkward sexual abandon as possible is OK by me. As for favorite outfit, there is only one answer to this, and it needs no explanation. The answer is nude.

The 2008 World Air Guitar Championship

I prepare by palling around with all the other air guitarists. All the competitions, especially the higher up you go, are basically nerd-fests with everyone clamoring to be the biggest geek in the lot. It is too fun getting to know your competition.

I had no expectations to win. In fact, anyone going into such a subjective competition would do well having no expectations beyond having a great time. How do you quantify one woman’s backflip during a Van Halen song over another man’s double beer can explosion while wearing a homemade airbrushed shirt of a devil humping a unicorn? Seriously.

I think the fact that air groupies (or “air mattresses”) even exist is noteworthy enough. As one who is (and has been) spoken for, I have no tales to share. It has been my experience that if you do anything on a stage there will be someone in the audience who will appreciate, respect and do you for it.

Air guitar is fulfilling in some ways but it will never compare to the hard-work, back-breaking, money-pit sensation of playing a real instrument in a ‘real’ bands like Conquest for Death and The Love Songs. I don’t think anyone sets out to be an air guitarist, so this is largely uncharted territory. I just plan on enjoying the ride and reveling in every absurd twist it takes.