Killed For A Hijab, Lived For A Smile: My Friend Aqsa Parvez

Lina~

I think you're getting angered over the wrong reasons and reading into things here. Heather sees both sides of the fence here. There are girls who choose to wear the hijab in honor of their culture and traditions. It is something they take pride in and it's their way of life. There are other girls who want to embrace the western ways more and not wear the hijab, but are conflicted with their cultures and traditions at home. I believe that was Heather's intent.

I live in NYC and it is very rare to see Muslim women donning the hijab. I do see it every now and again, but it is very rare. Since 9/11, many people in this area do not want to be singled out as Middle Eastern or Muslim (considering the American wars in the Middle East). They are afraid of discriminations that may come their way. They are letting go of their traditional and cultural ways in public for various reasons...most of it deals w/ trying to avoid discrimination.

I support women wearing the hijab and also their decision not to wear it. Many countries in the western world are not so accepting of the hijab (like France). I believe that is mainly due to their fear of a culture coming in and destroying their ways of life, instead of it being about respecting each other's cultures.

The hijab is very much a part of the culture of so many countries. As people become more westernized, they tend to let go of their traditions. Like for me, I didn't know anything about what it means to be a Thai Buddhist until I became an adult. The American Christian way of life was the only life I ever knew until I took an interest in learning about my mother's way of life before she came to America. I started to adopt her heritage (that I had to learn about on my own and not through my mother) when I became an adult.

As an adult, I wish she had taught me about the Eastern culture she was from. Instead, she let go of who she was and where she was from and embraced the western culture.

That happens to so many people who immigrate to western countries. They begin to let go of their traditions and cultures and embrace the society they live in. I'm sure I would do the same if I up and moved to Morocco or Kabul, Afghanistan tomorrow. I would embrace the ways of that society. I would don the burqa in public without asking questions, except maybe, "how do you put this thing on???" I would wear the hijab in respect for the society surrounding me, b/c I understand what goes through their minds when seeing a woman without it. It's like I'm disgracing not only myself but the strangers around me. In order to be respectful to others, I would wear it to avoid controversy.

It is the same here in the western world. Seeing the hijab is new and strange to many people. We're not accustomed to seeing people wearing non-western clothing. Post-9/11, it is also a dangerous time to wear the hijab in the western world.

I feel sorry for the girl and her family. I think we should also realize that in order for a father to kill their child, it also shows that there was also some violence in the home prior to this killing. A girl under his household disobeying him brought dishonor within their home. She dishonored her parents. Even if it wasn't just over the hijab, there were other things going on in that household. There is a difference between Islamic law and the laws of the Koran. They are two separate things. I am curious to see if he believed this was an honor killing and which law he thought he was obeying. A family's honor is very important in the Eastern world. Not just with the Muslim faith, but all throughout Asia. In the west, we're not so concerned about family honor, so it is a hard thing for us to grasp.

Lina, I would suggest you write your view on this whole matter and submit it to Orato.com for publication. You're attacking everyone, yet you're not necessarily explaining why you are so angry. You need to help everyone understand why you are so upset and help them understand where you are coming from.

MK