Libra
I remember when I realized John was going to do whatever it took to kill me.
We were separated at the time, and he came over to the house and said he wanted to talk to me in the garage, because it was private and no one else could hear us. When we got into the garage, he said, “You are not going to raise my children by yourself.”
And then he said, “You have become my enemy, and as my enemy I will kill you.”
I didn’t want to appear to him to be afraid, but I was very scared when he said that because I saw the look in his eyes. My response was, I’ve been sleeping with the enemy all this time.
Then he began walking toward me and I quickly left the garage and ran to my brother. He left the house at that point, and I told my brother that John said he was going to kill me. My brother said, “Well, he probably didn’t mean it; he was just trying to scare you.”
It worked.
The thing with John is that up until that point, his violence was not physical. His was mental, emotional and economic. He wasn’t on any type of drugs or alcohol – his was trying to totally and completely control and manipulate me, and that was his strong point. And that is how he was able to get into other people’s heads.
He didn’t appear to be threatening to anyone because he was very cautious as to how he presented himself – he was the helper, the person you come to if you need help, if there was anyone who could do it, John was the one who could do it, and that was how he presented himself to other people.
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Re: I Was Married To The DC Sniper
By Trisha Baptie, October 30, 2007 at 07:55MIldred,
Your courage to discuss what your family went through and how your concerns and experiences fell on deaf ears is a very moving and honest look at what some women are subjected to behind closed doors and then how they are made more vulnerable by the system that is meant to protect them.
Because of the most unfortunate outcome of your story a bright light has been shone on you and I hope your voice resounds throughout the bureaucracy that tells women over and over again we are crazy for believing what we know to be truth about our abusive partners. Unfortunately it is a lot easier to believe a cut lip or bruised eye then it is to see a slowly and carefully torn town and destroyed human spirit.
Unfortunately there are women who use the system to try and control and manipulate men into doing what they want, I have seen it first hand.
By doing that they steal a lot of the power from the voice of a woman really in trouble, but even that I hope can be over come with adequate training in law enforcement so women who are truly terrified and in dire need are heard and responded to with swiftness and respect for their plight they find themselves in.
You are truly in my prayers as your family heals from this and I hope your family finds swift ,deep healing from this event.
I hope you live in great joy with much love and laughter with your beautiful children as you walk through your healing.
Re: Sleeping With The Enemy: I Was Married To The DC Sniper
By luyen, October 26, 2007 at 17:15It's very disturbing to hear your account of a person who is so skilled at mentally domineering others, that's a skill that is both cowardly and wrong - i honestly feel sorry for this man, who can't distinguish what is right from wrong, and pretends to be a good person on the outside.
To a small extent, i think we all try to put up a good front even when we don't feel like it - but he's obviously taken some internal resentment to a new level - i'm glad you are on a path to recovery and happiness!
Re: Sleeping With The Enemy: I Was Married To The DC Sniper
By Margaret Holborow, October 22, 2007 at 12:44I never knew my husband had a clone...
Re: Sleeping With The Enemy: I Was Married To The DC Sniper
By Michelle Kenneth, October 22, 2007 at 11:47Thank you for sharing your story, Mildred. I had left DC just 3 months before the sniper killings began. I was so scared for all of my friends. It hits home really hard when you see these places you used to frequent and go to all the time become completely unsafe. Just thinking of walking out of the Home Depot to go to your car and being shot and killed out of nowhere is just so frightening...and that was the Home Depot I went to!!!! Every time the sniper hit, I was so afraid one of my loved ones' names was going to scroll across that screen. He invoked so much terror into the lives of people in that area, so how is this man a good man???
I am happy to see that you are healing from your trauma. One of the greatest steps you can take in the healing process is by helping others. After being a victim of sexual harassment and sexual assault, I started working with organizations that seek to help women who have been the victim of violence. It is all a part of the healing process to be able to help others, because we've been there before and understand.
Anyone who is well versed in domestic violence knows that it's not always physical. There are other aspects: financial, psychological and mental abuse. There were signs there all along. You saw them and you got out. If people had believed you when you said he was dangerous and he was going to kill you, maybe all of those people who died would still be living.
This should be a lesson for people...take everything seriously when someone with fear in their eyes asks you for help. It's real. You may be saving not only that person's life, but the lives of others. You have no idea what people are capable of. Who else can see the monster buried deep inside someone then the person who loves them, sleeps with them, and lives with them. They can see what you cannot see. So when they run to you for help...BELIEVE.
Re: Sleeping With The Enemy: I Was Married To The DC Sniper
By Cynthia, October 22, 2007 at 08:18I love your story Mildred. I'm so sorry that people did not believe you and that you & the children went through such a horrible ordeal.